Archive for resilience

Imagine Hope!

In my fifth grade classroom during the peak COVID era—a hugless year of masks, social distancing and hand sanitizer, I had a student named Chloe (watch her video here) who ended every one of her imagine stories with the same two words, “Imagine Hope!”  At the time I found those words catchy and inspiring–and so did my class.  In fact, eventually everyone ended their Imagine stories with “Imagine Hope!”, and it became our class motto. Quite fitting for that specific year.

Why is hope important:

Hope is a word that gets used a lot but may not be understood as well as it needs to be.

I love this quote from Brene’ Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are (I also really love this entire book)!

“Hope is not an emotion; it’s a way of thinking or a cognitive process. Emotions play a supporting role, but hope is really a thought process made up of… a trilogy of goals, pathways, and agency.  In very simple terms, hope happens when…

We have the ability to set realistic goals (I know where I want to go).

We are able to figure out how to achieve those goals, including the ability to stay flexible and develop alternative routes (I know how to get there, I’m persistent, and I can tolerate disappointment and try again).

We believe in ourselves (I can do this!).”

This explains why Chloe’s intuitive “Imagine Hope!” was so inspirational to my students.  Hope leads to action.  In The Imagine Project writing process, the writer is asked to write about a difficult time in life to help with emotional expression and processing—using the word Imagine to begin every sentence. Then in step 4, the writer is asked to write how they would like their story to end (also using the word Imagine), encouraging the writer to take a hopeful turn.

To better understand what hope is, let’s first understand what hope isn’t:

Hope isn’t positive thinking. Too often positive thinking is used to avoid the uncomfortable emotions in life and can be wielded like a weapon by people who just want to avoid discomfort.  Comments like, “Look on the bright side!” or “Just think positive!” can lead to the suppression of genuine emotions that need to be expressed.  The Imagine Project leads with acknowledging the discomfort of life so that people can feel, see, and hear right where they are.  Instead of only positive thinking, the writer is asked to imagine their story taking a hopeful turn, it invites the writer and the listener to imagine a different future for themselves, and then to take steps forward to move toward that hopeful future while accepting the difficult present.

Psychologist Dr. Andrea Bonoir wrote about the health benefits of hope in an article for Psychology Today,  In it she writes We feel less helpless and less uncertain about the future (and helplessness and uncertainty both increase our stress, in ways that can be detrimental to our health over time). Increased hope also gives us a buffer in order to sustain some setbacks: it can help with our resilience when there are bumps in the road, helping us have the energy to continue on the path that we are on before giving up.”

In addition, Laura King, a researcher from the University of Missouri Department of Psychological Sciences, did a study on the health benefits of writing about life goals, and she discovered that, “Five months after writing, a significant interaction emerged such that writing about trauma, one’s best possible self, or both were associated with decreased illness compared with controls. Examining the most hopeful aspects of our lives through writing—our best imagined futures, our “most cherished self-wishes” (Allport, 1961)—might also bestow on us the benefits of writing that have been long assumed to be tied only to our traumatic histories.”

We encourage you to write your imagine story (click here for the free journal), when you get to the end of your imagine story, try framing the ending around a “hopeful turn.” Sometimes people really struggle coming up with ideas for a hopeful ending to their imagine stories, especially students.  To assist with this, we have been given generous permission by Bret Stein, the creator of The Feelings Wheel (download it here). It is an integral part of the Center for Nonviolent Communication and now we are using it to help people identify feelings that can help drive their imagine stories.

Here is how it works:

The wheel is divided into twelve core emotions, six of which we feel when our needs are not being met, and six of which we feel when our needs are being met. The feelings are organized by color with opposites directly across from each other.  After writing your imagine story focused on the feelings you have when your needs are not being met, find the “hopeful turn” by identifying the opposite emotion you hope to feel directly across the wheel and then write what you imagine happening to experience that feeling.

It is my hope that you and your students will experience the power of The Imagine Project and the “hopeful turn” and that it will lead to goal setting, resiliency, and agency. Download the free journals here to get started!

Imagine Hope!

Written by Todd Daubert, Educational Consultant, The Imagine Project, Inc.

How Expressive Writing Helps Lessen Anxiety for Children and Adults

Most adults and children feel anxiety at some point in their lives. Unfortunately, the incidence of anxiety has increased over the last decade, and dramatically increased since the pandemic began. Anxiety is evoked by a change in life’s normal patterns or new unexpected events, challenging experiences, watching social media, even pressure from work, school, parents, friends, and family. Children may feel more anxiety because of changes in classrooms, life’s developmental challenges, feeling left out, too much pressure from family or school, and/or confusion about how life is supposed to work as they watch social media and new experiences of life unfold around them.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety can be mild or debilitating. When we are anxious we are overly concerned, our thoughts are more often negative, we compare ourselves to others more frequently, we think about failing, our confidence is low, and/or we worry excessively. Symptoms of anxiety in children will look like:

  • Finding it hard to concentrate
  • Not sleeping well, nightmares
  • Not eating well
  • Quick to show angry, irritability, or emotional outbursts
  • Constant worry or negative thoughts
  • Tense, fidgety
  • Fear of being alone
  • Worrying about loved ones
  • Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach aches, frequents colds or illnesses

Because anxiety can get in the way of being happy, functioning well in the world, doing well at school, making friends, and our overall psychological health, we need tools to cope with and mitigate anxiety. Teaching children tools for coping is imperative to their life long mental, emotional, and physical health. Expressive writing is one simple, effective, and free tool to lessen anxiety and improve emotional wellness.

What is Expressive Writing?

Expressive writing (EW) is free writing without focusing on grammar,  punctuation, or spelling. The writer sits and writes a deep and emotional piece about a personally significant experience, whether it’s is a past or present troubling event, or a topic that is currently concerning for them. The writing can be guided by prompts or simply freely expressing oneself as deeply as possible. Because people typically suppress emotions or focus on the negative they need tools to help with expression. Done correctly, EW can help the writing talk about their feelings and eventually see the positive in the situation.

How does Expressive Writing work?

For years research has shown the expressive writing reduces anxiety in adults and children (it also helps lessen depression). Although it’s not 100% clear how it helps, here are some thoughts about how it works. Expressive writing:

  • Gives an outlet for emotional expression
  • Organizes thoughts
  • Helps distance yourself from the situation
  • Helps gain control over the situation
  • Regulates emotion
  • Clears your mind and provides relief
  • Creates greater self-awareness and understanding about the situation

It also helps with:

  • Increasing feelings of well-being
  • Improving happiness
  • Improving social relationships
  • Increasing self-efficacy
  • Improving mental flexibility and ability to handle stress
  • Can improve sleep and increase memory

Using Expressive Writing

With all these positive factors, why not try it? It’s free too! One simple and easy format to use yourself, with your children, in a group, or in a classroom is called The Imagine Project. The Imagine Project is a 7-step journaling process that prompts the writer to write about a difficult experience and move into seeing the possibility of that experience, all using the word Imagine to begin every sentence. It’s very simple and set up in a journal format so parents, counselors, nurses, and/or teachers can use it with their children, clients, or students. The journals are downloadable for free at www.theimagineproject.org. There are 4 journals, Kinde, Kids, Teens, and Adults (there are digital versions too). Lessen plans and everything a teacher needs are available on the website www.theimagineproject.org. You can incorporate The Imagine Project into a variety of formats. It can be used once, or over and over again when children/students are faced with difficult life situations that are causing anxiety for them. Teachers benefits from it too when you use it yourself and/or you learn more about your students and give them the opportunity to create camaraderie, empathy, and a sense of community in the classroom. You are also giving them a free and effective lifelong tool to improve their overall emotional wellness.

To get started go to www.theimagineproject.org and download the age appropriate journal for you, your child, client, patient, or students. You will see their outlook on life improve, they will be able to focus better, and their overall emotional wellness will improve.

Good luck and keep Imagining!

Dianne

Dianne is the founder and CEO of The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps children K-12 (and adults) process and heal from difficult life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne has her Masters in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing, has written multiple books, is an international speaker, lives outside of Denver, CO, and has 3 grown children. Learn more about The Imagine Project at www.theimagineproject.org.

How to Use Emotional Freedom Technique(EFT)/Tapping

Many people are curious about Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also called Tapping. Tapping is a tool anyone can use to help them deal with difficult emotions in life. All ages can be taught to use tapping, as young as 6 or 7 years old or as old as 100! It’s a simple, yet effective technique that can calm your nerves, relief anxiety, help you move through difficult emotions, and even help relieve physical pain and other ailments.

What is EFT/Tapping?

Tapping is based on the theories of Chinese medicine where they believe that energy runs through certain “meridians” (also might be called pathways) of the body like blood runs through veins and arteries. When the energetic pathways are blocked, illness happens. Energy blocks can be caused by stress and trauma. Inserting needles on those meridian points will release the energy causing the block, creating wellness again. In tapping, the same belief is true except we tap lightly on those points instead of using needles. There are various meridian points on the body that are related to specific emotions. When you tap on those points while talking to your subconscious, emotions are released and you can move into a state of comfort and wellness.

How to begin tapping?

Tapping is easy to learn, it just takes a bit of practice. You can watch these videos at www.theimagineproject.org to begin learning and practicing. Google EFT/tapping to find hundreds more video examples. Some practitioners have altered the pattern some, you can make it your own, but here is the simple overview:

  1. Ask yourself how your feeling. Angry? Sad? Ashamed? Sometime else? Measure how strong that emotion is on a scale of 1-10, 10 being intense. Also, feel where you feel that emotion in your body, maybe in your stomach, chest, throat, head, somewhere else? Just be aware of that physical sense in your body.
  2. Begin by using two fingers from either hand and tap with medium pressure just above your eyebrow to the inside, closer to your nose. Keep tapping as you say, “Even though I feel angry (or whatever emotion they named), I deeply and completely accept myself.”
  3. Now tap on your temple near your eye and say it again, “Even though I feel angry, I deeply and completely accept myself.” Now tap under your eye and say it again, “Even though I feel angry, I deeply and completely accept myself.” Now move to under your nose, tapping and saying, “I’m so angry.” Move to under your bottom lip and repeat. Now tap just under the middle of your collar bone, either side of your chest, continue to state your emotions (you can use more than 1 emotion). Move to under your armpit about two inches down, keep making about your emotions and tapping.
  4. Now move to the crevice or indentation on the top, pinky side of your hand and tap there while saying a profound statement about the emotion you are feeling. “I am really mad!” Stay tapping on that spot on the hand and look up with your eyes, then down. Look to the left and then right (do not move your head, just your eyes), make a circle with your eyes, go back the other way, hum a few notes of any tune you want (or just hum) and then count to five, then hum again. This is a critical part of the process, because it triggers different parts of the brain where emotion is often released.
  5. Now start all over again on the face and continue on all the spots you did the first round (eyebrow, temple, under your eye, under your nose, dimple in your chin, collar bone, below your arm pit, and the pinky side of the hand). Continue with this pattern until you are feeling better. This might take 5 minutes, or it might take 20 minutes (occasionally longer). You might sigh, take a deep breath, get distracted, smile. You can stop and ask yourself where you are emotionally on the scale of 1-10? Hopefully, it will be much lower, even 0! If not, keep going or switch to another emotion—there is often more than one emotion to deal with at a time.
  6. If you become very emotional during this process (this is actually good), don’t stop, keep going. Moving through intense emotion is an important part of the process. If you can’t remember the exact spots to tap on, no worries, just keep going, being exact doesn’t really matter. It’s the process of tapping in general and talking to your subconscious that creates the shift in emotion by releasing the stuck energy connected to the issue/emotion at hand. Keep practicing—you will see the amazing effects in a short time!

Research:

There have been hundreds of research projects looking at the effects of tapping. Overall they have shown that EFT lowers cortisol levels (cortisol is a stress hormone—too high of levels in your body can cause anxiety and numerous acute and long-term health problems), and it can also reprogram neuropathways in the brain. When the brain experiences chronic stress, the neuropathways of your brain are constantly in the stress mode—feeling anxiety, tension, and emotion often, even all the time. EFT/tapping can reprogram your brain to calm down, destress, and feel less negative emotion—and more positive emotion!

Like anything else learning to use tapping takes some time and practice, but keep trying and remember to use it anytime you are upset or just feeling off from life—the shift you will feel can be miraculous. It’s simple, effective, and free! If you’re issue doesn’t shift there might be something more complicated buried underneath that emotion, you may need to seek help from a therapist that uses EFT as part of their practice.

I would encourage you to try writing your Imagine story along with tapping, especially if you are struggling with an event in your life that has really made a negative impact on you emotionally (past or present). You can go to www.theimagineproject.org to download a free journal to get started.

Good luck and happy tapping!

Love,

Dianne

Lessons Learned from The Imagine Project, Inc.

The Imagine Project became a nonprofit a little over 5 years ago. We have grown tremendously in those 5 years, currently reaching over a quarter of a million kids! The journey of starting a nonprofit is always a challenging one with many obstacles and lessons, and we have survived and thrived! The lessons of business are expected, but the powerful lessons of life that the thousands of stories we’ve heard that go far beyond what we had expected. I’d love to share what we’ve learned.

  1. Every child has a story. When I started The Imagine Project, I thought our expressive writing process would primarily help kids who had faced intense stress and trauma. I quickly learned that stress and trauma are far more prevalent in our society than most realize. Kids of all ages and all walks of life (rich, poor, black, brown, white, urban, and rural) go through difficult life experiences. There might be a kindergartener from a well to do neighborhood who writes about not seeing her parents enough, a 3rd grader who writes about moving, or loss of a pet or grandparent, a middle schooler who has a medical condition that is forever challenging for him, a high school who’s best friend committed suicide or had a drug overdose. The list is far too long to write here but each and every story has an impact on that child’s life—often a negative impact. If they don’t have a chance to talk about it, write about it, process what happened—that negative impact can last a lifetime. Hence they need to be given a simple and easy process to express themselves. Because most children don’t have access to counseling resources, The Imagine Project gives them the opportunity to express, process, and heal among their friends, classmates, and a loving teacher.
  2. Children are resilient! Wow, the stories of overcoming adversity we’ve heard are truly inspiring! Sitting in a classroom listening to a child tell a story of loss, or a parent being in prison, or even being bullied by a friend; watching them speak their truth and the other kids running over to hug them after, and seeing the child (and/or teen) stand up and feel heard and loved is remarkable. I remember a classroom of 3rd graders who were writing. One little girl’s mom had a miscarriage just weeks before. The little girl began to cry (she cried hard actually) and the other kids didn’t know what to do at first. But eventually, they rallied around her, showing her their love and support, making her feel like she was going to be okay. By the end of the class, she was beaming. Smiling so big you could feel it across the room—she had been heard!

Or the high schooler who sat in front of his classroom talking about his parent’s divorce when he        was 3, how hard it had been to not see his dad every day. He spoke and his classmates listened with empathy—allowing him to be heard. He was energized and empowered after—just by speaking his truth.

Teachers are also incredibly resilient too. Teachers write the most amazing Imagine stories! Stories of life challenges that pushed them to do the work they do, or stories that made them the compassionate souls they are today. Tears sometimes flow, but it’s okay because those tears are healing tears—emotions are being released, allowing everyone to let go and move forward.

  1. Hope is critical to our well-being! Watching a child’s eyes turn from distress to hope, brings joy to everyone’s heart. When a child (or anyone for that matter) talks/writes about a difficult life circumstance, it’s critical to move them into a mindset of possibility. This is why The Imagine Project works so well, it gives kids (and all) hope. Step 4 in The Imagine Project writing process asks the writer to Imagine how they want their story to end? What did they learn from their story? What story do they want instead? Moving them into a hopeful state, teaching them they don’t have to be defined by their story. Like the 5th grader whose parents just got divorced, he realizes he can still spend quality time with his dad, he can have friends in both places, and his parents get along better when they live apart. Or the high schooler who takes her abuse from her childhood and is determined to work to change the system that didn’t serve her, or even the 8th grader who hears another student’s story about having Type 1 diabetes and says he will never tease him—he never understood how hard it was for his classmate—giving all students in the room hope. Kids who hear their classmate’s stories of challenges learn empathy and often believe if someone help can overcome what they’ve been through, they can overcome too! Hope is powerful and it pushes everyone to do more, see more possibility in their lives, even try harder. A critical life lesson we all can use.

Knowing that every child has a story—that resilience and hope can be taught, and are key to a society of children and teens who are heathy and can contribute positively in this world is what keep us going! We continue to let the world know about The Imagine Project and it’s simple, free, and powerful impact it can have on anyone’s life—young or old. Please join us in spreading the word about The Imagine Project—help us reach our 2021 goal of reaching 1 million kids!! We all know the world needs The Imagine Project right now!

Thank you so much and be well.

Happy holidays and cheers to 2021!

Dianne

Dianne is the founder and CEO of The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps children K-12 (and adults) process and heal from difficult life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne has her Masters in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing, has written multiple books, is an international speaker, lives outside of Denver, CO, and has 3 grown children. Learn more about The Imagine Project at www.theimagineproject.org.

Trauma Informed Schools

Transitioning to a Trauma Informed School has become an important movement across the United States, particularly in those schools with a high population of at-risk students. Schools in poorer communities, communities with high crime, even rural areas are seeing the positive effects of applying Trauma Informed principles into their overall curriculum. Even if your school does not have a high-risk student population, it’s important to understand that trauma is in all schools. Yes, it may be higher in certain communities, but as many know, the ACES research showed that 50% of all kids in white, middle class, well-educated communities have at least one traumatic experience before the age of 17. This means every school has students who’ve experienced trauma. Becoming a Trauma Informed School is of utmost importance in helping all children succeed in school, and in life.

What does Trauma Informed mean?

Becoming a Trauma Informed School means training all staff to have a greater understanding of trauma and the impact it can have on a child—both immediate and long-term. Then giving educators the tools to deal with students experiencing trauma (past or present) in the classroom. Staff learn how to:

  • Create safe and supportive school environments
  • Adopt positive and restorative justice practices which include peer and staff support
  • Integrate social emotional learning tools
  • Have better access to mental health for all students (and staff), and knowing when and how to use mental health resources
  • Have ongoing trainings to continue to understand the latest data and research on trauma—how it affects the child, and current tools to implement in the classroom.

Shifting perspectives:

One of the most important ideas/theories that comes from Trauma Informed Classrooms is knowing a child may be acting out or unable to learn because of something that is happening at home or around the student, even if it’s in his or her past. When a student is struggling an educator asks, “What happened to you?” instead of the more traditional, “What is wrong with you?” When an educator asks in their minds, “What may have happened to this student to cause this behavior?” it shifts to a caring mode that becomes supportive of the student instead of condemning, and they can implement tools to support the child to be successful in school.

What does Trauma look like in students?

There are many definitions of trauma, but I like to define a traumatic experience as anything that challenges our coping mechanisms. We learn to cope based on our past experiences and our brain development. One child’s past experiences may have given him or her a different ability to cope with a situation than someone else’s experience. Often times, kids don’t have a lot of life experience to give them the resources to cope. Their brains are still developing and unable to cognitively process an event, so they are more at-risk for not being able to work through certain difficult situations. The inability to sort through and understand an event can wreak havoc on our brain; impairing thinking and comprehension; our nervous systems have a hard time settling, and social capabilities can be impaired. A child’s inner and outer world can become jumbled, confused, hyper-alert, and often overwhelmed. Which means they can’t focus in school, are easily triggered into emotions like anger, anxiety, or depression. Acting out in school, or shutting down and not being able to interact are obvious signs of trauma in a child or teen.  The traumatic experience can include many different events including (but not limited to):

  • Moving
  • Harsh statements from a teacher, parent, or peer
  • Bullying
  • Deportation or migration
  • Discrimination
  • Medical trauma
  • Loss
  • Witnessing or being a victim of violence.

Know that trauma comes in many forms and is different for each child—you can’t always see the effects of trauma, and the spectrum of what can cause it is broad. Which is why becoming a Trauma Informed School is critical to the success of many, many students.

Getting to know your student’s story:

One important tool that can help educators understand a child’s experience is called The Imagine Project. The Imagine Project is a simple 7-step writing tool for students K-12. The journals are free to download from www.theimagineproject.org. There are 4 journals; Kinde, Kids, Teens, and Adult. The 7-steps help guide the student through a process of writing their story using the word Imagine… to begin every sentence. Using the word Imagine makes the process unique and different from other story telling methods as it makes the writer feel safe and asks others to Imagine what that experience was like for them. After writing about the difficult experience, the writer is asked to Imagine the positive way that story might end, or what story they want instead—giving the student the ability to move through the stress or trauma and change their perspective of that experience. The Imagine Project also gives the teacher the ability to understand the student’s life and behavior. Please explore the website, watch the videos, see our research, etc. so you can understand the process and how you can implement it as part of your Trauma Informed Classrooms.

Becoming a Trauma Informed School

There are a variety of trainings to become a Trauma Informed School, classroom, and educator. An excellent training that is individual or school wide is through Heather Forbes and the Beyond Consequences Institute. Check out their website and see if this program works for you. You can also get more information about working with stress and trauma from The Imagine Project: Empowering Kids to Rise Above Drama, Trauma, and Stress (Yampa Valley Publishing, 2018).

Becoming a Trauma Informed School is important work. Research has shown adapting Trauma Informed techniques will improve student test scores, decrease dropout rates, lessen the need for discipline, and just make your classroom/school a much nicer place to work. Good luck and get started now by downloading The Imagine Project Journals.

Take care and be well,

Dianne Maroney, RN, MSN

Dianne is the founder and CEO of The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps children K-12 (and adults) process and heal from difficult life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne has her Masters in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing, has written multiple books, is an international speaker, lives outside of Denver, CO, and has 3 grown children. Learn more about The Imagine Project at www.theimagineproject.org.

 

Should I Send my Child Back to School?

Parents, teachers, admin, even grandparents are struggling with the difficult decision of; “Should I send my child back to the classroom setting?” Some believe kids should be back in school, some believe they should stay home, some feel a hybrid choice is the best option. The reality is there isn’t one set answer for all. Many factors need to be taken into account when the final decision is made and administration is doing the best they can to balance the situation at hand.

As parents, teachers, admin, and grandparents, what can we do to better help make this decision? Here are some thoughts that might help:

1. Fully educate yourself. Listen to a variety of news sources to get all the accurate information. Be sure to check your sources to make sure they are legitimate and not coming from someone just trying to alter your beliefs. Attend school district meetings and talk to other parents and teachers to hear their input and wisdom.

2. Make the traditional list of “why” and “why not” columns—put your thoughts in each column—this helps so much in sorting through hard decisions. See how they add up.

3. Listen to your gut. If something in your heart is telling you that one choice is better than another—pay attention to that thought or feeling. Listening to your gut means thinking about an idea and really feeling whether or not your body feels at ease with it. Or maybe it feels like that is not a good choice—in that case and your body might feel tight or uncomfortable. Following your gut means when you feel relaxed and comfortable making an idea happen—it’s the right choice. Otherwise, give it some time and don’t do it!

4. If you are having a hard time processing all the information, listening to your gut, and/or you just don’t know what to do, sit down and write an Imagine story about your thoughts and feelings. Use The Imagine Project simple 7-step journaling process to help you sort through your thoughts. It’s a powerful tool to help you understand what’s in your heart and listen to your gut. Have your kids and/or spouse do it with you too—it’s a wonderful tool for families to do together. You will feel relief and everyone will smile a bit more after they write.

These are unprecedented times we live in. Hopefully, things will get easier soon. Until then, remember The Imagine Project writing process, it’s simple and free—and made for individuals, families, groups, or classrooms. Download a journal now and give it a try, you will be glad you did.

May this decision be clear and your children thrive in whatever environment they are in.

Take care and be well,

Dianne Maroney, RN, MSN

Dianne is the founder and CEO of The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps children K-12 (and adults) process and heal from difficult life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne has her Masters in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing, has written multiple books, is an international speaker, lives outside of Denver, CO, and has 3 grown children. Learn more about The Imagine Project at www.theimagineproject.org.

Using Mindfulness during Stressful Times

Stress is running high right now. Everyone is feeling it, whether it’s a change in our everyday routines, being worried about a loved one, or the extreme stress of losing your home and/or job. If adults are feeling it, so are our children—no matter what the age. We all need some help coping. Mindfulness can be a great tool to keep us grounded so that our fear and worry emotions don’t get the best of us. The Imagine Project is a form of Mindfullness, it helps with processing how we feel, as well as centering ourselves.

But what does mindfulness really look like? Mindfulness is the conscious decision to pay attention to your body, mind, emotions, and external circumstances. You might be thinking, why would I do that—doesn’t that make me fell worse. The trick is to do so from a nonjudgmental place—a place of noticing and letting go of anything that doesn’t serve you. It actually really works! Research even shows that noticing—just noticing what’s happening in your mind, head, and heart, without trying to fix or change it, just watching and noticing it—allows it to move through and move on. Research also shows that mindfulness helps improve immune function (fewer illnesses), increases concentration, strengthens resilience, as well as many other positive effects.

So how do we do this? Experiment and practice—with ourselves, and our kids. Noticing your breathing is always a great place to begin. Bring your attention back to your breath, and practice long, slow, mindful breathing. This is key to embracing the moment and restoring or strengthening calm in your brain and body. Try sitting quietly and gently paying attention to your breath, counting slowly as you breathe in and out. The goal is breathing in to a count of about 6 or 7, and the same breathing out. You may have to work at going this slow, but just try it at your own pace and work at moving to a slower, deeper breath. Then practice at other times too, in your car, waiting in a doctor’s office, or watching TV. The more you experiment and work at it, the more prepared you’ll be when you really need it to calm yourself in stressful situations!

Practicing mindfulness with kids happens when you create quiet times with them and show them techniques and tools to help them calm down. Here are a few tips to help:

  1. Sit and do the breathing technique together—practicing together really helps.
  2. Have a snack or even cook together. Noticing the food: the taste, the smell, the textures.
  3. Go for a walk, notice what’s going on around you in nature; the clouds, the weather, the landscape—look for 4 leaf clovers or dig in the dirt.
  4. Read together, do a puzzle, chase bubbles, draw, or paint.
  5. Share a breathing hug together, take a few soft, slow breaths as you hold each other.
  6. Notice and share how you are feeling, your body sensations and how they match your emotions and thoughts.
  7. Write your Imagine stories together.

Mindfulness combats stress by allowing us to slow down our minds so we can pay attention to what’s happening in our bodies and emotions. Then the emotions can move through our minds and bodies, which will lessen our stress. Sometimes it’s difficult to connect to and understand how we feel, this is where The Imagine Project comes in. Writing your story, each sentence beginning with the word Imagine… helps put our feelings out into the world, helps us process our experiences that are causing stress, move through them, calming our minds and bodies—the goal in combating stress.

Here is a wonderful website to help you get started with Mindfulness: Mindfulness and Meditation Matters. 

Try writing your imagine story with your child and/or your students. The process is free, simple, and prompted by a 7-step journaling process. Go to www.theimagineproject.org to learn more about The Imagine Project and download the journals. Give it a try, it will help calm your’s and your child’s stress, while giving the opportunity to Imagine new possibilities in life!

Dianne Maroney, RN, MSN

The Imagine Project, Inc., is a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US and internationally, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

Important Tools to Help Children Build Resilience Through Stressful Times

Stress is everywhere. You can almost feel it in the air. Our community, our state, our country, and the world are facing a difficult time—a global Coronavirus pandemic. Who would have thought a year ago we would be here, living in the new normal—unable to leave our homes, no school, no sports, and no playtime with friends (for kids and adults). With this new (temporary) normal we can find ourselves feeling a gamut of emotions—fear, stress, overwhelm, anger, terror, confusion, relief, even joy—we can feel all of these in a matter of minutes! If we are feeling these emotions, our kids are too.

It’s important to give your kids tools to build their resilience. Tools to support their inner resilience so they know they will be okay—an important lesson of life really—tools kids and adults can use forever. When we are stressed, particular overly stressed, we can’t just hope it will go away, or someone will fix it for us. We must dig down deep—pull up the bootstraps as they say—and find the strength to cope, move forward, and thrive. How can we help ourselves, and our kids stay positive, and build a strong sense of self in these challenging times? Here are a few suggestions.

  1. Expressing how we feel: Coping with stress begins with emotional expression. Conversations with our children asking questions that begin with the words, “How…” or “What…” for example, “How are you feeling about hearing that from your friends?” “What are you feeling about that idea?” This begins the conversation so you can explore both your own feelings, and your child’s. Another wonderful tool to help children (and adults) express emotion is The Imagine Project writing tool. The Imagine Project writing tool is a 7-step writing process that asks specific questions so the writer can express their feelings (using the word “Imagine”) and even Imagine new possibilities of how their personal story might end. It’s a simple, yet powerful tool that is FREE to download from theimagineproject.org.
  2. Releasing negative emotion: Many believe (including myself) that we hold onto negative emotion in our bodies as energy. When we hold on to this negative energy it can create immediate or long-term health problems such as aches and pains or worse—major issues like high blood pressure or cancer. One of the ways we can release the pent up negative energy is through exercise and movement. So move! Dance, jump, play, exercise, play hide-n-seek—whatever gets you and your children moving!  It’s best if you move for 20 minutes or more and get your heart rate up, but do what you can. Another amazing tool is called Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping. Tapping is a form of energy releasing by using your fingers to gently tap on acupuncture points on the body while making simple statements. You can watch videos on this website to learn more about tapping or you can go to another website/app that is very helpful in learning how to tap, especially with kids, thetappingsolution.com. I highly recommend you check it out!
  3. Mindfulness: Mindfulness is powerful in calming our nervous systems. Stress speeds up our nervous systems. Being “sped up” all the time is not good for our health—it releases hormones that can negatively impact our body—creating illness. It’s particularly bad for kids to be stressed and sped up constantly as their neuropathways are developing and will stay in fast mode for life, creating anxiety and other issues. So we need to slow our nervous systems down—actively making our minds and bodies take it easy and relax. Mindfulness is a good way to slow our minds and bodies down—and it’s easier than you think. Sitting and doing a puzzle, cooking, humming (humming is very good for your nervous system), going for walks, or reading together are all mindfulness techniques. Think of the relaxing things you like to do with your kids—and make it a habit to do them everyday, more than once a day. With the stress so intense right now, it’s extremely important to actively practice mindfulness as much as possible. If you want to learn more, you can Google mindfulness or go on YouTube to listen to mindfulness meditations. If you have elementary school age children go to gonoodle.com for great quick mindfulness videos that kids love (it’s free).

These are important times to find extra support for ourselves and our children—the stress around us is intense. Set your intentions around what positive things you want to get from this period of time, ask your kids to set some intentions too. Learning to relax, spending more time together, connecting with old friends, the world coming together again, are a few that come to mind. There is always good that comes from life’s challenges.

We can all make it through this—and be even better on the other side. Try some of these suggestions today. Download The Imagine Project journals and write your imagines together as a family. If you are a teacher have your students to it—it will be amazing! Teach your children they can be resilient and overcome any challenge—it may take a little extra work, but of course it’s important for them to learn that too.

Good luck and stay well,

Dianne Maroney, RN, MSN

The Imagine Project, Inc., is a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US and internationally, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

 

Supporting the Emotional Needs of Foster Kids with the Imagine Project

Numerous studies have been conducted that reveal just how much stress today’s kids are under. Sadly, we see it every day revealed in bullying, anxiety, depression, chemical abuse, and even suicide. Youth are suffering with stress and trauma, and those labeled as “at risk”, such as foster kids, have more to overcome than the average student. One of the ways we are able to support them is through the Imagine Project, a seven step journal exercise designed to heal trauma in a way that allows for empathy, understanding, and positivity.

Using a process that includes the simple prompt of “imagine”, students begin to share something they have had to deal with, as well as how it has turned around. Here’s an excerpt as an example from a recent classroom experience:

Imagine… having gone to eleven schools by the time you’ve entered the 9th grade.

Imagine… moving so often that you’re numb to the feeling of packing everything you own in trash bags.

Imagine… knowing the term “at-risk” at such a young age that you didn’t yet know the definition of “success.”

Imagine… falling asleep much too early at a friend’s sleepover because it’s the 1st time in a long time that you slept in a bed—not on the floor.

The story continues, but begins moving to the positive…

Imagine… breaking through the circumstances you were given and getting a college scholarship to go to college.

In a classroom setting, students can choose to share their stories with others, or not. Those who do share are often met with compassion and caring, which builds empathy and understanding for both those who read their stories, and those who are simply participating by listening. The process builds emotional wellness with a tool that helps them tap into their feelings, express them in a safe written format, and reveal to them their own resiliency.

Why Foster Kids?

Statistics show that in 2017, more than 690 thousand youth in the United States spent some time in foster care. Of these, the majority were youth of color, and stayed in care an average of 1-2 years. While many lived with extended family, an equal number are in non-family care or group homes. Just over 50% are reunited with their families, but many, who enter the system on average at the age of 8, will exit at age 18 without ever having a stable home.

Foster kids specifically are more likely to get involved with high risk behaviors such as drug and alcohol abuse, sexual activity (often resulting in teen pregnancy), and are at greater risk for homelessness and incarceration as adults. Further, they:

  • have often been victims of physical, sexual and emotional abuse and neglect
  • may have been inappropriately medicated and/or institutionalized
  • have disrupted family connections due to incarceration of a parent or long periods of separation from key family members
  • have experienced homelessness and/or domestic violence

The Imagine Project creates a positive format for self-expression and a supportive community environment by demonstrating compassion to and from peers and caring adults. It helps students build their own problem-solving and self-regulation skills by learning to take responsibility for their feelings and choices. Using this tool with all students, but particularly those who have gone through tremendous trauma, such as those in the foster system, is especially important and valuable.

To get your FREE copies of The Imagine Project Journal and sample lesson plans, visit: https://theimagineproject.org/the-7-step-journals/

Thank you!

Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US and internationally, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

7 Tips to boost your child’s resilience and emotional wellness!

Every parent wants the best for their children. We work hard at making sure they eat right, do well in school, get enough sleep, etc. Another area that needs a great deal of focus is their emotional wellness. Emotional wellness means a child is able to express emotion, feel empathy and compassion, have health relationships, communicate freely, be responsible, accept help, have fun and feel joy, and be able to bounce back when they face adversity. Emotional wellness is key to being resilient in the face of any adversity. And since adversity is an integral part of life, we can’t really shield our children from it. Instead, we can promote emotional wellness and resilience by giving them tools to cope—lasting tools that can equip them to weather all the storms they encounter throughout their lives. Here are seven tips to help you help you help your child be their best self emotionally.

  • Spend quality time with your children every day without any distractions, showing them they are important and teaching them about how to have healthy relationships.
  • Ask your children about their day. “What was hard about your day and why? What was great and why? What are you grateful for in your day?”
  • Praise your child’s effort when doing things like helping around the house, working on homework, participating in sports, getting along with others—versus praising on the end product. “I like how hard you worked/how you persisted!”
  • If your child is resisting, acting out, or engaging in unwanted behaviors, before you react, take several slow, deep breaths to strengthen your ability to stay calm and then ask them what’s upsetting them. This strategy helps you get to the root of the issue and address the real problem so you can determine a real solution for correcting the behavior. “Can you tell me what just happened?” or “Tell me about your day” can open up a productive conversation and can even boost a child’s ability to self-correct.
  • Ask your child “What do you need?” to accomplish what you are asking them to do. This question helps them to think about themselves and to understand their needs and personality better.
  • Show them that you care about their feelings, their beliefs, their hopes and dreams—their identity. Avoid negative labels and judgments about who they are—for example, it’s okay to be quiet, smart, funny, cautious, timid, sensitive, boisterous, athletic, artistic, or assertive. A child’s personality may be different than you want or had hoped, but that’s ok. It’s good for your children to be true to themselves. See their strengths and their value, and validate them! You’ll boost your success with this if you practice being nonjudgmental and true to your own self, embracing your own quirks, and honoring your own strengths and value to the world. Of course there is always room for improvement, but know that you—and your child—are worthy, just the way you are!
  • Teach them empathy and compassion. They will learn by watching you. Teaching them how to be compassionate, kind, and caring when someone is hurting or needy is important in the world today.

If you find any one of these tips difficult to implement and/or the dynamics between you and your child challenging more often than you’d like it to be, then you or your child (or both) might have some unresolved stress or trauma you haven’t worked through yet. Try using The Imagine Project journaling process to help process and heal those issues (its FREE). You can both write your Imagine stories, share them, and grow together—it will be an amazing experience for everyone! Download the journals now—you will love the way it strengthens your relationship and builds resilience as well as emotional wellness.

Thank you and Happy Imagining!

Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US and internationally, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

 

 

 

 

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