Archive for hope

Using the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)/Tapping to Help Kids Process Stress and Trauma.

Are you looking for tools to help kids/students with stress and trauma? Unfortunately, stress and trauma are common issues kids and teens must deal with everyday. In the last decade, anxiety and depression has increased dramatically in children. Social media, peer pressure, parental pressure, and sadly in the US, the horrible fear of a school shooting. Although many things contribute to stress in our kids, few tools are given to them that support emotional balance—until now! This photo shows kids before an athletic event using a technique called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called tapping—a great tool to help kids manage stress and trauma, in and outside the classroom.

Trauma is all to present in kids as well. The Advanced Childhood Experiences study (also called ACES) was done on over 17,000 participants in the San Diego, CA area which showed that 50% of all kids have at least 1 traumatic event before the age of 17! This study was done on primarily white, middle class, well-educated kids. Add in poverty, crime, even rural areas and the rate goes up to 70-100%. This is a serious health care issue in our society (and the world) because stress and trauma is hard on the body and mind causing long-term issues such as heart disease, cancer, autoimmune disease, frequent issues, and serious mental health issues including depression and anxiety, etc.

Treating stress and trauma is extremely difficult, particularly when practitioners only focus only on using traditional talk therapy and medication. These tools can be helpful, but not healing. So parents, therapists, even teachers, must find other, more alternative therapies to help kids (and adults) support and heal stress and trauma.

EFT/Tapping is a perfect alternative therapy to teach kids (and use on yourself). It’s is easy to learn/use and research has shown it’s highly effective in treating stress and trauma, even with kids. It’s free if you watch YouTube videos to learn how to use it, or there are plenty of inexpensive books where you can learn to use the process. Here is an overview on how to use tapping with yourself and kids. For more information check out the websites www.thetappingsolution.com, www.tap-easy.com or you will find more information on how to tap with yourself and your kids in The Imagine Project: Empowering Kids to Rise Above Drama, Trauma, and Stress(Yampa Valley Publishing, 2017). Watch the YouTube videos on www.theimagineproject.orgor google tapping to visually see the points you tap on the body. Use a medium touch to tap on each point described below:

How to use EFT/Tapping with kids:

  1. First help your child figure out the strongest negative emotion they are feeling at that moment, i.e. anger, sadness, or fear. Let them say it in their own words and tap with them, using their words.
  2. Ask them how bad their emotion is before you begin, using a scale of 1-10, 10 being very bad and 1 being minimal. When you are done tapping you can ask them again; hopefully it will be only at a 0 or 1 when you are done.
  3. Ask them if they can tell where they are storing that emotion in their body—they might feel an ache in their belly, tightness in their neck or chest, a headache, or other pain (they may not be able to answer this question which is fine).
  4. Tell them to do what you do and say what you say. (Note, every practitioner adapts their own version of the tapping sequence, if you see something you like better on YouTube go ahead and use it.)
  5. Begin by using two fingers from either hand and tap with medium pressure just above your eyebrow to the inside, closer to your nose. Keep tapping as you say, “Even though I feel angry (or whatever emotion they named), I deeply and completely accept myself.”
  6. Now tap on your temple near your eye and say it again, “Even though I feel angry, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
  7. Now tap under your eye and say it again, “Even though I feel angry, I deeply and completely accept myself.” (Continue to have your child follow your tapping and say what you say.)
  8. Now move to under your nose, tapping and saying, “I’m so angry.” Show a little emotion so your child can copy you.
  9. Move to under your bottom lip and repeat. You can mix it up and say what your child might be angry at, perhaps school, friends, or confrontations: “I’m so angry that boy did that to me!”
  • Now tap just under the middle of your collar bone (either side of your chest—you can even switch sides of your body and face—it doesn’t matter). Keep making statements that you think your child might feel. “So and so was so mean”, “I am so mad at him!” Ask your child what they want to say and keep tapping.
  • Move to under your armpit about two inches down, keep making statements and tapping. Think about what your child might be feeling and make those statements or let them talk. Keep having them repeat after you.
  • Now move to the crevice or indentation on the top, pinky side of your hand and tap there while saying a profound statement about the emotion your child is feeling. “I am really mad!” Stay tapping on that spot on the hand and look up with your eyes, then down. Look to the left and then right (do not move your head, just your eyes), make a circle with your eyes, go back the other way, count to five out loud, hum a few notes and then count to five again. This is a critical part of the process, because it triggers different parts of the brain where emotion is often released. If your child is feeling more emotional at this point, have them repeat all of the eye movements, humming and counting again a few times, all while tapping on the hand. Do it with them!
  • Now start all over again on the face and continue on all the spots you did the first round (eyebrow, temple, under your eye, under your nose, dimple in your chin, collar bone, below your arm pit, and the pinky side of the hand). Continue with this pattern until you can tell they are feeling better. This might take 5 minutes, or it might take 20 minutes (occasionally longer). They might sigh, take a deep breath, get distracted, smile. You can stop and ask them to give you a number between 1 and 10 naming how emotional they feel now. Hopefully, it will be much lower, even 0! If not, keep going or switch to another emotion—there is often more than one emotion to deal with at a time.
  • If they become really emotional during this process, don’t stop, keep going. Tell them it will only last for a minute. If they need it, you can always tap on their bodies for them. Talking and tapping for them works, but it is better to let them participate. With little ones, under about 6 years old, you can tap back and forth on their legs or shoulders and just talk to them about something that is bothering them, it typically helps. You can even try it with babies!
  • One last note. Throughout the process, remind your child to think about the area on their bodies where they are holding the negative emotion (you asked them about this earlier)—it will help them to release the energy/emotion and keep them from feeling too emotional by focusing on their body not their emotions. Keeping them thinking about their bodies helps keep them grounded as well. It might sound complicated, but it’s not. Practice it a few times and you will be able to use it any- time, anywhere. It’s a great tool for many different issues!

A shortened version of EFT is simple yet it’s still ef- fective. It’s what I use in the classroom, or on myself when I don’t want anyone to know I’m tapping. Have kids cross their arms over their hearts and tap back and forth gently on the front of their shoulders, not too hard and not too soft. They can also cross their arms and tap under their arms, or just back and forth on their legs. If a child is upset, you can also tap on them, for them. It’s most beneficial to tap this way for six to seven minutes, until you see them relax and they can refocus on what they are doing.

Finding an EFT therapist should not be too difficult. Google EFT therapists in your area or go to www.thetappingsolution.com to find a therapist. Be sure to ask the therapist how long they have been practicing EFT and their experience with kids. If you want to use EFT for more serious issues such as trauma or depression, make sure they have experience working in those areas as well.

For those of you who have seem me present in person and tap with a group, here are some suggestions as to the statements you can make with kids individually or with small or large groups. Say each statement as you move from point to point on the face and body. Ab lib if you’d like, add more emotions or other statements that come to you. The goal is to think about what others might be feeling (or what you are feeling), make that statement with them. Moving from the painful to the positive. Tell them to do what you do and say what you say.

My story is hard.
My story hurts.
My story makes me feel sad.
My story makes me feel angry.
My story makes me feel ashamed.
I don’t like my story, it’s hard (you can repeat some of these again or try some other emotions you think of)
What is I could write a new story?
What if my story didn’t affect me as much anymore?
What if I could write a new story.
I’m thinking I can write a new story.
A story that I want to have in my life.
A story full of love, fun, and joy.
I deserve a new story.
Because I am amazing.
I’m excited about writing a new story.
Anything is possible.
Because I am,
I can,
And I will!

For more support helping kids with stress and trauma download My Imagine Journals—they are free!

Good luck!

Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

New research Showing Positive Outcomes after using The Imagine Project!

Little girl writing her Imagine story.

When teachers, counselors, admin, etc. use new curriculum/ideas in their school and classrooms, they like to know what they are using is backed by credible research. We have good news! Phase One of our research on The Imagine Project has come back significantly positive! If you aren’t familiar with The Imagine Project writing process, click here to see the free journals.

Until now The Imagine Project writing activity has been based on the plethora of research that’s been done on expressive writing over the last 25 years. In most of the studies, participants were asked to take 15 to 30 minutes to write about an emotionally challenging, stressful, even traumatic incident in their lives. Typically, they are asked to do this once a day for three to five days. Even though the time spent writing can be emotional and make the writer feel vulnerable, the long-term benefits are positive. Study measurements were done months, even years, after the writing exercises and positive results still existed.

Expressive writing research shows it can:

  • improve grade point average,
  • improve working memory,
  • improve writing skills,
  • decrease school dropout rates,
  • enhance immune function (fewer illnesses and fewer trips to the doctor),
  • decrease blood pressure,
  • promote wound healing after surgery,
  • decrease anxiety and depression,
  • help people feel better about life, and
  • lessen post-traumatic intrusion and avoidance symptoms.

We wanted to see more specifically how The Imagine Project affects a student who uses it. So we hired a well sought after research company called QREM (Quantitative Research Evaluation and Measurement) in Littleton, CO. QREM then designed extensively researched questionnaires for elementary, middle, and high school students looking at themes that included academic risk taking, outlook toward their future, positive school attitudes, stress management, support, and writing.

The research process took about 5 months to complete. We recruited various schools in Colorado and Washington. Students took a pretest ora posttest to minimize the test-retest effect. So students who took the pretest did not take the posttest and those who took the posttest had not taken the pretest. All did the Imagine Project writing activity steps 1-7 once in their classrooms. We tested 4th, 5th, 8th, and high school (from Alternative High Schools only because those were the students who were available at the time).

Our results were even stronger than we anticipated:

The Imagine Project has a substantial impact on middle school students.Middle school participants made more significant gains on the established constructs than any other age group. Specifically, middle school students made gains in their ability to manage their stress and their perception of support from others (increases of 11.5% and 6.3%, respectively).

Boys were especially receptive towards the Imagine Project.Boys of all age groups made substantial gains in many of the constructs –seeing improved attitudes towards school by 11.6%, their ability to manage stress by 9.8%, and their perceptions of support by 8.0%.

Girls improved with stress management.Middle and high school girls participating in the Imagine Project improved their overall stress management by 9.4%

Elementary School Findings showed gains in skills and comfort with writing. This information is backed by many teachers reporting their student’s love of writing increased after using The Imagine Project writing project. QREM researchers believe we did not see more changes in stress management with elementary school students because they are more difficult to measure due to being easily influenced by life events on a daily basis—and developmentally it can be challenging to measure these types of issues. But, teachers tell us all the time, the Imagine Project makes a huge impact in a student’s self-awareness, ability to cope with stress, improved kindness, and it brings classrooms together in support of each other.

We are very pleased with the results of our Phase One research project. We are now in Phase Two, looking more in-depth at constructs such as compassion, self-awareness, stress management, and love of writing. We understand how critical mental health and education research is to implementation of programs in a classroom/school, and we want to know the best format for applying the Imagine Project writing process. With kids as stressed as they our in our world, they (and you) need tools for support. Go to www.theimagineproject.org to download our free journals!

I hope you find this helpful and spread the word about The Imagine Project!

Thank you,

Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

School Shootings: How The Imagine Project Can Make a Difference

Sadly, anyone with a child, friend, or relative in a school today worries if they will be safe. Unfortunately, the fear of a student being hurt by gun violence has become very real and prevalent. After picking ourselves up from yet another school shooting we have to seriously look at what we can do to help dissolve this horrific issue.

Profiles of School Shooters

What is it that causes a school shooter to do such an unthinkable act? Research has shown many common problems and characteristics of those who commit this violent act. School shooters often harbor anger and delusions about themselves and those around them. They frequently have abuse in their backgrounds and/or ineffective parenting. They experience low self-esteem, feelings of powerlessness, lack of empathy, and difficultly establishing and maintaining friends. Many have shown previous violence to others and/or animals and are obsessed with violent video games and previous school shootings. They also seem “troubled” and have varying degrees of mental illness.

How can we help?

Imagine being able to deter these kids (most often boys) from going down the path of violence? Helping them express and work through their emotions (as early as possible), process any past or current trauma, teach them empathy for others, empower them, and watch for possible mental health issues can make a difference. One tool that supports improving all of these issues/concerns is The Imagine Project, an expressive writing activity for students in schools, youth organizations, or even at home.

The Imagine Project is a simple yet profound 7-step process that helps kids write and talk about difficult life experiences. In a classroom, group, or even on their own, a student writes their story using The Imagine Journal, where every sentence begins with the word Imagine… It’s a powerful process that gives kids an opportunity to express what’s in their hearts, work through how they feel, process their experiences, and imagine a new story in its place. There are 4 journals for kids K-12 and adults; all are available to download for free at www.theimagineproject.org.

After using the journaling process with thousands of kids, many kids tell us they love being able to express themselves and speak what’s in their hearts. “I put my anger on paper instead of keeping it inside,” said a very articulate 6th grader. “It was hard to write about my emotions but it was worth it, it’s important to tell your story,” said Emily, 10th grade. The Imagine Project is a healthy, life-long tool that kids (and adults) can use to work through emotions, difficult life challenges, and in turn empower them to believe in themselves and new possibilities in their lives. Sadly, there are very few acceptable tools kids are taught to kids, to help them work through difficult life experiences, talk about emotions, and feel empowered. Most often emotions and tools are not even talked about in classrooms. It’s time to talk about it. The Imagine Project journaling process is a simple and free activity kids can use every day to help them when they are feeling overwhelmed and/or upset about life.

Teachers also tell us that using The Imagine Project promotes and teaches empathy and camaraderie in a classroom or within a group of kids. Many students have reported back to their teachers, and to me, that listening to the other kids read their stories out loud helped them realize that the other student is human too; they act the way they do because of their own experiences. Hearing other kid’s stories brings intense compassion and empathy for those reading. It brings students closer, helps form new friendships, trust, and “a family like feeling” in schools. It’s a perfect opportunity for teachers or youth leaders to teach the kids about compassion and empathy—some come by these traits naturally—but many need help learning them depending upon what they are taught at home.

Sam’s story

In one 5th grade classroom a boy named Sam read his Imagine story out loud to the rest of the class (this is encouraged). He talked about moving 6 times in 3 years and losing his dad when he was young. He was new to this school and was having a hard time finding friends. When the other kids heard his story they were shocked, they had no idea that was why he was so quiet and hard to play with. When they heard his story they purposefully made friends with him. The friendships didn’t last for a week, but for the rest of the year! We will never know how this might have changed the trajectory of his life, but it certainly made a positive impact.

Help for those that have been affected by a School Shooting or fear one in their future.

If a child, teacher, administration, parent, or anyone directly or indirectly has experienced a school shooting, it can be devastating. The Imagine Project can be utilized by teachers, counselors, or any other appropriate staff member who works with students. Imagine journaling is an opportunity to express their emotions, find comfort in others who feel the same, and join together to imagine a better future. For those students and educators who live in fear of a shooting happening in their school in can be helpful to write and find comfort in others who feel the same.

We are currently researching The Imagine Project, our experience thus far—after working with thousands of kids—shows that students are positively impacted by expressing emotion, having a deeper understanding of what’s happened in their lives, learn compassion and empathy, and realize there are better possibilities in their future. Teachers and youth leaders also learn more about a child’s story and will know when to refer them for mental health services.

A school shooting is a complicated, multifaceted issue that is far too prevalent in our society today. We need to look carefully at all aspects of causes and solutions. Providing an outlet for emotion, a voice for what’s in a child’s heart, empowering new hope and possibility, and teaching youth compassion and empathy through The Imagine Project just might change the trajectory of a troubled child’s life, help those who are impacted by a school shooting, and bring a useful tool to those who fear what is happening with our kids in the world today.

Thank you,

Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

Cultivating Hope in Kids Using The Imagine Project

One of the most profound gifts I’ve witnessed while working with The Imagine Project is watching a child’s face and body language shift from despair and helplessness to hope. When they begin writing about a challenging story in their lives, their body language is sad and sunken. But once their story is on the table, acknowledged, and embraced, then a child can begin to see how far they’ve come, how strong and resilient they really are, and they begin to believe they can handle life—they have hope.

Hope is critical to all of us, particularly a child. Children seem to embrace hope more easily than some adults. Some might say it’s their lack of seeing the world with wounded eyes, but honestly, they see more than we think. Behind their incident looking eyes there is a secret, something hidden in their hearts that pulls them back from life, keeps them from knowing how amazing they truly are. It may be a small, even silly secret like something negative that someone said—or it can be bigger like a shameful parent or feeling left out. No matter the size, a child needs to find the hope within the issue so they can move forward in life and not be held back by false beliefs.

Hope gives us positive emotion, it makes our bodies and brains feel pleasure. Hope boosts our immune systems keeping us healthy and balanced. Basically hope makes us happy! Which is why cultivating hope is critical to our youth.

The Imagine Project writing process is a practice that cultivates hope in a child or teen. When a child is given the opportunity to speak their truth by writing a story about something difficult that has happened in their life using the word Imagine, it gives them permission to let that story go and write a new story in it’s place. I see it time and time again, a child sits in a classroom frustrated, even angry they have to write—and then they begin. They almost can’t write fast enough—getting out emotion that’s been stuck or hiding. As this flow of emotion begins there are occasional tears while they write, but mostly they just want to get it out. The writing helps them find a voice that’s been pushed down inside that no one has been listening to. Their body language begins to change—they find a more comfortable way/place to sit to continue, they get up and sharpen their pencils and come back and write more. Hope begins. They are often given the opportunity to read their stories out loud. The younger ones—up to about 7th grade—all want to read their story, the older ones, not so much. The compassion for each other’s stories floods the room—hope is cultivated. When a child hears a story of another child they see strength in that child and in turn in themselves—if they can do it so can I! Friendships are made—hope is cultivated.

Remember, just because a child has a happy face, doesn’t mean they don’t have a story that needs support. Having them write and maybe even talk about their story in a classroom or at home will help them see and feel hope in their lives. They will recognize their own resilience, and in a group/classroom setting, the resilience of others. Hope cultivated again.

Please try The Imagine Project in your home or classroom. The journals are all available for free at www.theimagineproject.org. You will love it and your child/students will too! And the added bonus, they will begin to love to write!!