Archive for Kids stress

Students will need Extra Emotional Support this Fall

All educators are anxiously awaiting what this fall might look like. Some still aren’t sure if kids will be in the classroom or virtual—and things could change quickly. Most students are also feeling anxious, not really knowing what school will look like in the fall. Some are anxious about possible changes, leaving home, being around other kids, wearing masks/not wearing masks, etc. Students will need extra emotional support from their teachers, counselors, and admin as they navigate this new territory.  How can you help?

First, you know that all kids are not made equal. Some kids will prance into school just happy to be there—and some will be terrified—feeling anxious, worried, and unsure of themselves. Their ability to adjust and cope will run the spectrum of feeling happy and inspired to being lost and confused. Get to know where your students are at, you can even create a numbers system putting 1-5 next to their names showing your perceived level of their anxiety. But how do you really get to know where they are at—here is a simple and free tool that will help the student express what they are feeling and give you a sense of what’s going on in their hearts and minds. This tool is called The Imagine Project. The Imagine Project is a powerful tool that K-12 teachers can incorporate into their literacy programs (it meets many core standards BTW)—and it’s FREE. The Imagine Project will give students at least part of the extra emotional support they need to adjust to being back to school and the new norms it brings.

The Imagine Project gives emotional support through expressive writing. It’s a simple 7-step process that encourages students to write about a time or experience that has been difficult for them—all using the word Imagine… to begin every sentence. The word Imagine allows the writer to connect with the creative side of the brain to help bring healing, and it gives a safe and simple way to talk about a challenging time. Here is an example:

Imagine…leaving school one day, not knowing that would be the last day of school for the year.

Imagine…having to complete school work every day at home, not being able to hear your friend’s laughter, voices, or even your teacher telling you to “SHHH” while doing the waterfall hand motion.

Imagine…looking outside your bedroom window at the sky, wondering when the next time you will be able to give your friends and teachers a hug

Imagine…you had a sense of hope.

Imagine…you had a sense of thankfulness, thankful for current technology in being able to see your friends and teachers over a computer screen. 

Imagine…spending more time with your family than ever before, discovering new activities and playing games with each other.

Imagine…you had a superpower to change anything in the world, and you chose to cure all disease.

Imagine…the world healthy and strong, getting to see your friends and teachers again.

Imagine…there is no pain, no worry, no strife in the world.

Imagine…everyone living with happiness and joy.

Hope, 2nd grade

Using The Imagine Project will allow students to express what’s in their hearts, learn that others have had similar experiences (if they read their stories out loud to the class which is encouraged), and bring camaraderie to the classroom or group. It also gives the teacher or counselor a better understanding of where the kids are at emotionally—all while meeting core standards!

To learn more about The Imagine Project go to www.theimagineproject.org. Remember it’s free, easy, and powerful. You can even write your own story—supporting your own emotional health. If you decide to read it to your kids—they will love it! Download the journals now!

Good luck and happy Imagining!

Dianne

 

 

Nurturing a Child through Stress

Ugh, life has been challenging lately, sometimes down right hard! Many of us are facing situations we never thought we would ever encounter. The stress is real—for all of us. Even if our situation is doable, we still see and feel the stress in the world. Behind the masks we can see stress in someone’s body language, lack of eye-to-eye contact, or maybe their behavior is less than kind. Adults are feeling stress, but kids are too—all ages of kids are feeling it—from babies to teens.

What we know from stress research is that a little bit of stress is good for kids, it helps them learn how to react and manage it. A lot of stress, especially over a long period of time is not—it causes long-term problems both emotionally and physically.  How long is too long—weeks, months, or years. Yes, it’s been weeks of stress for everyone—a bit too long to be helpful so it’s time to mitigate the stress.

The good news is that research also shows us that we can lessen the long-term negative impact of stress. One of the most important ways to help a child through stress (and ourselves) is through nurturing them. Nurturing buffers the stress, mitigating it’s negative effects and supporting the child to in tolerance and strength.

Nurturing means caring for someone, encouraging them, holding them, letting them know they are okay when they aren’t sure. During stressful times, kids aren’t sure if they are okay. They may not understand what’s happening around them or to them, how to handle the situation, even what to say or do. Nurturing children comes easy for some people, but it can be more challenging for others. This will depend on your own experiences with your parents, teachers, and others around you while you were growing up. If you are good at it, spread it around to as many kids as possible, they will need it. If you are challenged by the idea of nurturing a child, here are some suggestions.

  1. Listen to your child’s thoughts and feelings. Ask open-ended questions that begin with How or What? Repeat what they say back to them—this will help them feel heard.
  2. Spend good quality time with them—lots of extra time with them if they are really stressed. Check in with yourself to see how you are feeling. If you are very stressed too, then increase your self-care so you can be there for your kids.
  3. Give them lots of affection and touch; affectionate touch raises dopamine levels, calming our nervous system.
  4. Read to your children. This will also calm and settle down their nervous systems, as well as teaching them something along the way.
  5. Give your child an opportunity to write or draw about their feelings. The Imagine Project Journals are a perfect format for this. Research has shown that expressive writing calms anxiety. The Imagine Project is a simple 7-step guided writing process for all ages K-12 (and adults) that uses the word Imagine to begin every sentence. Helping a child to process their stress and then move into Imagining something new in their lives. Learn more about this process at theimagineproject.org, they are free!

Creating a stable nurturing environment for kids will really help everyone in managing stress. Try adding more of these 5 steps into your day, at least during stressful times—and even keeping them during less stressful times. Download the journals today and begin the beautiful journey of healing and moving forward (for everyone).

Good luck and take care,

Dianne Maroney, RN, MSN

 

 

Using Mindfulness during Stressful Times

Stress is running high right now. Everyone is feeling it, whether it’s a change in our everyday routines, being worried about a loved one, or the extreme stress of losing your home and/or job. If adults are feeling it, so are our children—no matter what the age. We all need some help coping. Mindfulness can be a great tool to keep us grounded so that our fear and worry emotions don’t get the best of us. The Imagine Project is a form of Mindfullness, it helps with processing how we feel, as well as centering ourselves.

But what does mindfulness really look like? Mindfulness is the conscious decision to pay attention to your body, mind, emotions, and external circumstances. You might be thinking, why would I do that—doesn’t that make me fell worse. The trick is to do so from a nonjudgmental place—a place of noticing and letting go of anything that doesn’t serve you. It actually really works! Research even shows that noticing—just noticing what’s happening in your mind, head, and heart, without trying to fix or change it, just watching and noticing it—allows it to move through and move on. Research also shows that mindfulness helps improve immune function (fewer illnesses), increases concentration, strengthens resilience, as well as many other positive effects.

So how do we do this? Experiment and practice—with ourselves, and our kids. Noticing your breathing is always a great place to begin. Bring your attention back to your breath, and practice long, slow, mindful breathing. This is key to embracing the moment and restoring or strengthening calm in your brain and body. Try sitting quietly and gently paying attention to your breath, counting slowly as you breathe in and out. The goal is breathing in to a count of about 6 or 7, and the same breathing out. You may have to work at going this slow, but just try it at your own pace and work at moving to a slower, deeper breath. Then practice at other times too, in your car, waiting in a doctor’s office, or watching TV. The more you experiment and work at it, the more prepared you’ll be when you really need it to calm yourself in stressful situations!

Practicing mindfulness with kids happens when you create quiet times with them and show them techniques and tools to help them calm down. Here are a few tips to help:

  1. Sit and do the breathing technique together—practicing together really helps.
  2. Have a snack or even cook together. Noticing the food: the taste, the smell, the textures.
  3. Go for a walk, notice what’s going on around you in nature; the clouds, the weather, the landscape—look for 4 leaf clovers or dig in the dirt.
  4. Read together, do a puzzle, chase bubbles, draw, or paint.
  5. Share a breathing hug together, take a few soft, slow breaths as you hold each other.
  6. Notice and share how you are feeling, your body sensations and how they match your emotions and thoughts.
  7. Write your Imagine stories together.

Mindfulness combats stress by allowing us to slow down our minds so we can pay attention to what’s happening in our bodies and emotions. Then the emotions can move through our minds and bodies, which will lessen our stress. Sometimes it’s difficult to connect to and understand how we feel, this is where The Imagine Project comes in. Writing your story, each sentence beginning with the word Imagine… helps put our feelings out into the world, helps us process our experiences that are causing stress, move through them, calming our minds and bodies—the goal in combating stress.

Try writing your imagine story with your child and/or your students. The process is free, simple, and prompted by a 7-step journaling process. Go to www.theimagineproject.org to learn more about The Imagine Project and download the journals. Give it a try, it will help calm your’s and your child’s stress, while giving the opportunity to Imagine new possibilities in life!

Dianne Maroney, RN, MSN

The Imagine Project, Inc., is a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US and internationally, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

Important Tools to Help Children Build Resilience Through Stressful Times

Stress is everywhere. You can almost feel it in the air. Our community, our state, our country, and the world are facing a difficult time—a global Coronavirus pandemic. Who would have thought a year ago we would be here, living in the new normal—unable to leave our homes, no school, no sports, and no playtime with friends (for kids and adults). With this new (temporary) normal we can find ourselves feeling a gamut of emotions—fear, stress, overwhelm, anger, terror, confusion, relief, even joy—we can feel all of these in a matter of minutes! If we are feeling these emotions, our kids are too.

It’s important to give your kids tools to build their resilience. Tools to support their inner resilience so they know they will be okay—an important lesson of life really—tools kids and adults can use forever. When we are stressed, particular overly stressed, we can’t just hope it will go away, or someone will fix it for us. We must dig down deep—pull up the bootstraps as they say—and find the strength to cope, move forward, and thrive. How can we help ourselves, and our kids stay positive, and build a strong sense of self in these challenging times? Here are a few suggestions.

  1. Expressing how we feel: Coping with stress begins with emotional expression. Conversations with our children asking questions that begin with the words, “How…” or “What…” for example, “How are you feeling about hearing that from your friends?” “What are you feeling about that idea?” This begins the conversation so you can explore both your own feelings, and your child’s. Another wonderful tool to help children (and adults) express emotion is The Imagine Project writing tool. The Imagine Project writing tool is a 7-step writing process that asks specific questions so the writer can express their feelings (using the word “Imagine”) and even Imagine new possibilities of how their personal story might end. It’s a simple, yet powerful tool that is FREE to download from theimagineproject.org.
  2. Releasing negative emotion: Many believe (including myself) that we hold onto negative emotion in our bodies as energy. When we hold on to this negative energy it can create immediate or long-term health problems such as aches and pains or worse—major issues like high blood pressure or cancer. One of the ways we can release the pent up negative energy is through exercise and movement. So move! Dance, jump, play, exercise, play hide-n-seek—whatever gets you and your children moving!  It’s best if you move for 20 minutes or more and get your heart rate up, but do what you can. Another amazing tool is called Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping. Tapping is a form of energy releasing by using your fingers to gently tap on acupuncture points on the body while making simple statements. You can watch videos on this website to learn more about tapping or you can go to another website/app that is very helpful in learning how to tap, especially with kids, thetappingsolution.com. I highly recommend you check it out!
  3. Mindfulness: Mindfulness is powerful in calming our nervous systems. Stress speeds up our nervous systems. Being “sped up” all the time is not good for our health—it releases hormones that can negatively impact our body—creating illness. It’s particularly bad for kids to be stressed and sped up constantly as their neuropathways are developing and will stay in fast mode for life, creating anxiety and other issues. So we need to slow our nervous systems down—actively making our minds and bodies take it easy and relax. Mindfulness is a good way to slow our minds and bodies down—and it’s easier than you think. Sitting and doing a puzzle, cooking, humming (humming is very good for your nervous system), going for walks, or reading together are all mindfulness techniques. Think of the relaxing things you like to do with your kids—and make it a habit to do them everyday, more than once a day. With the stress so intense right now, it’s extremely important to actively practice mindfulness as much as possible. If you want to learn more, you can Google mindfulness or go on YouTube to listen to mindfulness meditations. If you have elementary school age children go to gonoodle.com for great quick mindfulness videos that kids love (it’s free).

These are important times to find extra support for ourselves and our children—the stress around us is intense. Set your intentions around what positive things you want to get from this period of time, ask your kids to set some intentions too. Learning to relax, spending more time together, connecting with old friends, the world coming together again, are a few that come to mind. There is always good that comes from life’s challenges.

We can all make it through this—and be even better on the other side. Try some of these suggestions today. Download The Imagine Project journals and write your imagines together as a family. If you are a teacher have your students to it—it will be amazing! Teach your children they can be resilient and overcome any challenge—it may take a little extra work, but of course it’s important for them to learn that too.

Good luck and stay well,

Dianne Maroney, RN, MSN

The Imagine Project, Inc., is a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US and internationally, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

 

7 Tips to boost your child’s resilience and emotional wellness!

Every parent wants the best for their children. We work hard at making sure they eat right, do well in school, get enough sleep, etc. Another area that needs a great deal of focus is their emotional wellness. Emotional wellness means a child is able to express emotion, feel empathy and compassion, have health relationships, communicate freely, be responsible, accept help, have fun and feel joy, and be able to bounce back when they face adversity. Emotional wellness is key to being resilient in the face of any adversity. And since adversity is an integral part of life, we can’t really shield our children from it. Instead, we can promote emotional wellness and resilience by giving them tools to cope—lasting tools that can equip them to weather all the storms they encounter throughout their lives. Here are seven tips to help you help you help your child be their best self emotionally.

  • Spend quality time with your children every day without any distractions, showing them they are important and teaching them about how to have healthy relationships.
  • Ask your children about their day. “What was hard about your day and why? What was great and why? What are you grateful for in your day?”
  • Praise your child’s effort when doing things like helping around the house, working on homework, participating in sports, getting along with others—versus praising on the end product. “I like how hard you worked/how you persisted!”
  • If your child is resisting, acting out, or engaging in unwanted behaviors, before you react, take several slow, deep breaths to strengthen your ability to stay calm and then ask them what’s upsetting them. This strategy helps you get to the root of the issue and address the real problem so you can determine a real solution for correcting the behavior. “Can you tell me what just happened?” or “Tell me about your day” can open up a productive conversation and can even boost a child’s ability to self-correct.
  • Ask your child “What do you need?” to accomplish what you are asking them to do. This question helps them to think about themselves and to understand their needs and personality better.
  • Show them that you care about their feelings, their beliefs, their hopes and dreams—their identity. Avoid negative labels and judgments about who they are—for example, it’s okay to be quiet, smart, funny, cautious, timid, sensitive, boisterous, athletic, artistic, or assertive. A child’s personality may be different than you want or had hoped, but that’s ok. It’s good for your children to be true to themselves. See their strengths and their value, and validate them! You’ll boost your success with this if you practice being nonjudgmental and true to your own self, embracing your own quirks, and honoring your own strengths and value to the world. Of course there is always room for improvement, but know that you—and your child—are worthy, just the way you are!
  • Teach them empathy and compassion. They will learn by watching you. Teaching them how to be compassionate, kind, and caring when someone is hurting or needy is important in the world today.

If you find any one of these tips difficult to implement and/or the dynamics between you and your child challenging more often than you’d like it to be, then you or your child (or both) might have some unresolved stress or trauma you haven’t worked through yet. Try using The Imagine Project journaling process to help process and heal those issues (its FREE). You can both write your Imagine stories, share them, and grow together—it will be an amazing experience for everyone! Download the journals now—you will love the way it strengthens your relationship and builds resilience as well as emotional wellness.

Thank you and Happy Imagining!

Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US and internationally, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

 

 

 

 

5 Reasons why Teaching Gratitude to Kids is Important


Step 7 of The Imagine Project writing activity is a 30-day Gratitude challenge. We ask students to write down 3 things they are grateful for every day for 30 days. It’s a practice in seeing the positive in their lives and recognizing there is always something to be grateful for, even on the darkest days. Learning to be grateful can mean the difference of staying in a state of sadness and regret to finding love and positivity.

Gratitude is included in the 7-step writing process because learning gratitude practices early can have a wonderful positive impact on brain function and overall mental state, better equipping a child for their journey into adulthood. Here are 5 reasons why gratitude can transform lives:

Improves Brain Health and Sleep

Research has shown that gratitude actually changes the molecular structure of your brain. It keeps grey matter functioning longer, and feeling gratitude floods the brain with dopamine—an important hormone for brain and emotional health. Those with a practice of gratitude journaling before bed, have been shown to sleep longer and more soundly.

Shows Good Manners

Saying ‘thank you’ in general is good manners, and some people believe the art of good manners has been lost on today’s children. While this could be argued, the truth is saying ‘thanks’, whether verbally or through a note, helps build relationships. A friendly ‘thank you’ creates opportunities and reinforces harmony to create connection.

Builds Empathy and Self Esteem

Building empathy reduces aggression and thoughts of revenge as the person begins to see and feel what it’s like in “someone else’s shoes”. When we are looking for and finding the good in life, we discover different points of view. This also means that we better recognize other’s accomplishments, as well as our own, building self-esteem.

Reduces Entitlement

In general, when anyone focuses on the good, or the “blessings” in life, they become happier. Focusing on what there is to be thankful for, banishes entitlement, or the feeling that one needs or deserves more.

Creates Resiliency

Expressing gratitude in the face of self-pity and trauma equips us for better coping and resiliency, asking us to trust a “bigger picture” or to find the positive in a situation. Rather than stress and worry, having an attitude of gratitude helps us overcome the fearful thinking associated with feeling out of control.

Students don’t need Step 7 of the Imagine Project to learn gratitude, but it helps. Along with giving them a voice to express anything that might be difficult in their lives, the Imagine Project writing activity teaches them the habit of gratitude. We can learn to be grateful at any age, but when kids learn gratitude when their young, they receive a gift shifting their thinking from negativity to positivity—pretty amazing gift!

Feeling grateful for all of you

Love,

Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US and internationally, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

How does Emotional Freedom Technique/ EFT/Tapping Support The Imagine Project?

As parents and teachers we often see our kids struggling with issues that challenge their ability to cope. It may be keeping up in school, coping with friendship changes, or the trials of social media. We are always looking for tools to support our precious children (and ourselves). The Imagine Project writing activity is a wonderful tool for allowing kids to express their emotions and work through difficult times. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT, also called Tapping) is another tool that is simple and easy to implement with your kids/students, and even use on yourself. Here is an overview of how EFT/tapping works and how it supports The Imagine Project writing activity. If you’d like more information, see The Imagine Project: Empowering Kids to Rise Above Drama, Trauma and Stress (Yampa Valley Publishing, 2018).

Tapping is based on the principles of Chinese medicine where energy runs through the body via energetic meridians, much like how blood runs through veins and arteries. There are energetic points on the body that are specific to various emotions and physical organ functions. If there is negative energy stuck in or around those points, it can alter our health and wellbeing.

When we experience a difficult emotion, it can often leave a negative energetic imprint in our bodies. If we don’t release it, that negative energy can lead to long-term issues with mental and physical health. In EFT we are taught to tap on specific points on the body and state our emotions out loud as we tap. As we tap we are talking to our subconscious, allowing us to acknowledge our feelings and therefore let go of the negative imprint. Healthy energy then begins to flow freely again and we feel better emotionally and physically.

During Step 3 of The Imagine Project writing process, emotion can often begin bubbling up. It’s very positive to feel emotion, emotions help us process and move forward. Tapping can help us let go of those emotions more quickly as we write and acknowledge how we feel. It’s not necessary to use tapping with the writing, but it can help. I encourage you to give it a try by checking out these resources: The Tapping Solution (website and app), Brad Yates YouTube videos, and Peta Stapleton classes for teachers. You can easily teach yourself or take classes online or in person.

There is a great deal of quality research around the positive effects of tapping for many, many different issues. The research shows improvement in anxiety, depression, chronic pain, as well as many other health issues. If you are interested,  Google research with Emotional Freedom Technique/Tapping and you will find a wealth of information.

Teaching ourselves and our youth to tap so they can have a simple and effective tool to use for support, along with The Imagine Project writing process is powerful for them now and in their futuer. As they move through difficult life circumstances these tools can help them feel more comfortable in school, with friends, even in sports! Use it along with The Imagine Project writing process with your children or students!

Good luck and happy Tapping!

Love,

Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

Mindful Summertime Fun Tips for Parents

As a parent, we are often looking for things to do with our children during the long summer months when they are out of school and home. Our days can be filled with trips to visit loved ones, to explore new areas, or to relax as a family. We may stay close to home and take time to bond with a trip to the zoo or museum, take a cooking class together, hit a library or take in a movie.

We can find so many fun, educational or relaxing things to do with our kids, that are important for our growth as a family and as individuals. Being in the moment with our kids is truly a gift to us and to them. Here are a few more ways to incorporate mindfulness into your summer routine:

Turn off electronics.Consider making time weekly for a no-electronics night. Play a game, talk about your day and listen attentively, or go on a walk together. To get conversation going, consider using The Imagine Project Journal, available for free here: https://theimagineproject.org/the-7-step-journals/

Do it yourself first.Mindfulness can be role-modeled to help your kids really understand it. Have your kids lay beside you during a morning meditation, or have them do a quiet yoga session with you. An online search of images for “kid theme yoga practice” is sure to fill you with ideas, and make the practice interesting and educational.

Create downtime.Sometimes we try to stay super busy, but we all need some down time. Consider creating a corner of pillows in the living room, or other space, where you can lay back and relax, read, listen to soft music, draw or journal. Create a space where you, and the kids, either together or individually can practice quiet down time during the day.

Overall, mindfulness helps improve mental health and social-emotional growth. Journaling and sharing your stories and feelings with each other can help decrease suicide rates, increase empathy and coping skills (which can lessen the potential for school shootings), and improve resiliency. To learn more about using mindfulness techniques and The Imagine Project journals with kids, visit: theimagineproject.org

Have fun this summer!

Love,

Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

Using the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)/Tapping to Help Kids Process Stress and Trauma.

Are you looking for tools to help kids/students with stress and trauma? Unfortunately, stress and trauma are common issues kids and teens must deal with everyday. In the last decade, anxiety and depression has increased dramatically in children. Social media, peer pressure, parental pressure, and sadly in the US, the horrible fear of a school shooting. Although many things contribute to stress in our kids, few tools are given to them that support emotional balance—until now! This photo shows kids before an athletic event using a technique called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called tapping—a great tool to help kids manage stress and trauma, in and outside the classroom.

Trauma is all to present in kids as well. The Advanced Childhood Experiences study (also called ACES) was done on over 17,000 participants in the San Diego, CA area which showed that 50% of all kids have at least 1 traumatic event before the age of 17! This study was done on primarily white, middle class, well-educated kids. Add in poverty, crime, even rural areas and the rate goes up to 70-100%. This is a serious health care issue in our society (and the world) because stress and trauma is hard on the body and mind causing long-term issues such as heart disease, cancer, autoimmune disease, frequent issues, and serious mental health issues including depression and anxiety, etc.

Treating stress and trauma is extremely difficult, particularly when practitioners only focus only on using traditional talk therapy and medication. These tools can be helpful, but not healing. So parents, therapists, even teachers, must find other, more alternative therapies to help kids (and adults) support and heal stress and trauma.

EFT/Tapping is a perfect alternative therapy to teach kids (and use on yourself). It’s is easy to learn/use and research has shown it’s highly effective in treating stress and trauma, even with kids. It’s free if you watch YouTube videos to learn how to use it, or there are plenty of inexpensive books where you can learn to use the process. Here is an overview on how to use tapping with yourself and kids. For more information check out the websites www.thetappingsolution.com, www.tap-easy.com or you will find more information on how to tap with yourself and your kids in The Imagine Project: Empowering Kids to Rise Above Drama, Trauma, and Stress(Yampa Valley Publishing, 2017). Watch the YouTube videos on www.theimagineproject.orgor google tapping to visually see the points you tap on the body. Use a medium touch to tap on each point described below:

How to use EFT/Tapping with kids:

  1. First help your child figure out the strongest negative emotion they are feeling at that moment, i.e. anger, sadness, or fear. Let them say it in their own words and tap with them, using their words.
  2. Ask them how bad their emotion is before you begin, using a scale of 1-10, 10 being very bad and 1 being minimal. When you are done tapping you can ask them again; hopefully it will be only at a 0 or 1 when you are done.
  3. Ask them if they can tell where they are storing that emotion in their body—they might feel an ache in their belly, tightness in their neck or chest, a headache, or other pain (they may not be able to answer this question which is fine).
  4. Tell them to do what you do and say what you say. (Note, every practitioner adapts their own version of the tapping sequence, if you see something you like better on YouTube go ahead and use it.)
  5. Begin by using two fingers from either hand and tap with medium pressure just above your eyebrow to the inside, closer to your nose. Keep tapping as you say, “Even though I feel angry (or whatever emotion they named), I deeply and completely accept myself.”
  6. Now tap on your temple near your eye and say it again, “Even though I feel angry, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
  7. Now tap under your eye and say it again, “Even though I feel angry, I deeply and completely accept myself.” (Continue to have your child follow your tapping and say what you say.)
  8. Now move to under your nose, tapping and saying, “I’m so angry.” Show a little emotion so your child can copy you.
  9. Move to under your bottom lip and repeat. You can mix it up and say what your child might be angry at, perhaps school, friends, or confrontations: “I’m so angry that boy did that to me!”
  • Now tap just under the middle of your collar bone (either side of your chest—you can even switch sides of your body and face—it doesn’t matter). Keep making statements that you think your child might feel. “So and so was so mean”, “I am so mad at him!” Ask your child what they want to say and keep tapping.
  • Move to under your armpit about two inches down, keep making statements and tapping. Think about what your child might be feeling and make those statements or let them talk. Keep having them repeat after you.
  • Now move to the crevice or indentation on the top, pinky side of your hand and tap there while saying a profound statement about the emotion your child is feeling. “I am really mad!” Stay tapping on that spot on the hand and look up with your eyes, then down. Look to the left and then right (do not move your head, just your eyes), make a circle with your eyes, go back the other way, count to five out loud, hum a few notes and then count to five again. This is a critical part of the process, because it triggers different parts of the brain where emotion is often released. If your child is feeling more emotional at this point, have them repeat all of the eye movements, humming and counting again a few times, all while tapping on the hand. Do it with them!
  • Now start all over again on the face and continue on all the spots you did the first round (eyebrow, temple, under your eye, under your nose, dimple in your chin, collar bone, below your arm pit, and the pinky side of the hand). Continue with this pattern until you can tell they are feeling better. This might take 5 minutes, or it might take 20 minutes (occasionally longer). They might sigh, take a deep breath, get distracted, smile. You can stop and ask them to give you a number between 1 and 10 naming how emotional they feel now. Hopefully, it will be much lower, even 0! If not, keep going or switch to another emotion—there is often more than one emotion to deal with at a time.
  • If they become really emotional during this process, don’t stop, keep going. Tell them it will only last for a minute. If they need it, you can always tap on their bodies for them. Talking and tapping for them works, but it is better to let them participate. With little ones, under about 6 years old, you can tap back and forth on their legs or shoulders and just talk to them about something that is bothering them, it typically helps. You can even try it with babies!
  • One last note. Throughout the process, remind your child to think about the area on their bodies where they are holding the negative emotion (you asked them about this earlier)—it will help them to release the energy/emotion and keep them from feeling too emotional by focusing on their body not their emotions. Keeping them thinking about their bodies helps keep them grounded as well. It might sound complicated, but it’s not. Practice it a few times and you will be able to use it any- time, anywhere. It’s a great tool for many different issues!

A shortened version of EFT is simple yet it’s still ef- fective. It’s what I use in the classroom, or on myself when I don’t want anyone to know I’m tapping. Have kids cross their arms over their hearts and tap back and forth gently on the front of their shoulders, not too hard and not too soft. They can also cross their arms and tap under their arms, or just back and forth on their legs. If a child is upset, you can also tap on them, for them. It’s most beneficial to tap this way for six to seven minutes, until you see them relax and they can refocus on what they are doing.

Finding an EFT therapist should not be too difficult. Google EFT therapists in your area or go to www.thetappingsolution.com to find a therapist. Be sure to ask the therapist how long they have been practicing EFT and their experience with kids. If you want to use EFT for more serious issues such as trauma or depression, make sure they have experience working in those areas as well.

For those of you who have seem me present in person and tap with a group, here are some suggestions as to the statements you can make with kids individually or with small or large groups. Say each statement as you move from point to point on the face and body. Ab lib if you’d like, add more emotions or other statements that come to you. The goal is to think about what others might be feeling (or what you are feeling), make that statement with them. Moving from the painful to the positive. Tell them to do what you do and say what you say.

My story is hard.
My story hurts.
My story makes me feel sad.
My story makes me feel angry.
My story makes me feel ashamed.
I don’t like my story, it’s hard (you can repeat some of these again or try some other emotions you think of)
What is I could write a new story?
What if my story didn’t affect me as much anymore?
What if I could write a new story.
I’m thinking I can write a new story.
A story that I want to have in my life.
A story full of love, fun, and joy.
I deserve a new story.
Because I am amazing.
I’m excited about writing a new story.
Anything is possible.
Because I am,
I can,
And I will!

For more support helping kids with stress and trauma download My Imagine Journals—they are free!

Good luck!

Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

School Shootings: A Tool that can Help Stop this Horrible Trend

Ugh, yet another school shooting. Our hearts are all breaking once again. When will it ever end? What are the solutions? How can we help? We could debate this subject for days, but staying out of politics, I would like to offer a tool that is at least part of the solution. The Imagine Project is a simple 7-step writing process that can be incorporated into any classroom, group, or done individually with kids K-12. It’s supports social emotional balance and mental health. If also changes the climate and culture of a classroom, school, and even society—by bringing kindness, compassion, healing, and hope to the kids. Which in turn, may keep kids from making the horrendous choice of shooting someone else to ease their own pain.

The day of the latest school shooting, my videographer, Christie Taylor and I were just finishing up hours of interviewing teachers and kids about the impact The Imagine Project had on their school. Walnut Hills Elementary had just finished doing the project with their entire school a few weeks earlier. Every interviewee—teachers and students alike—had endless affirming statements and stories about how the Imagine Project had positively impacted their lives and their classrooms. Kids from 2nd through 5thgrade spoke about how they loved being able to talk about something that was difficult for them—an issue they might not have mentioned otherwise, but what negatively affecting them. Some talked about friend issues, divorce, moving, pet—or even worse, parent losses. These experiences or issues often caused emotions such as sadness, anger, fear, even confusion and anxiety. Over and over they expressed how good it was to write and speak about their feelings. And when their classmates heard their Imagine stories (they often read them out loud), they felt heard, found new friends, learned compassion, and they stopped feeling much of the intense emotions related to the issues—they could move on and create a new Imagine story in their lives.

Teachers couldn’t stop talking about how powerful it was for their kids to have a tool that helps students express emotion, share experiences, see their resilience, and just plain feel better about life! When kids shared their stories, they made new friends, smiled more, felt lighter about heavy issues, and best of all saw possibility in their lives. When asked if The Imagine Project might lessen bullying—without hesitation the teachers answered yes. Why? Because The Imagine Project creates connections between students, understanding of another student’s story, and compassion for another student they may have not even known anything about prior to hearing their Imagine story.

Research shows kids are more stressed than ever. Trauma is also very prevalent among our youth. When kids are stressed and traumatized—and don’t have the proper help—they can find unhealthy ways to cope: Addictions, self-harm, dropping out of school–and even harming someone else.

We must give kids tools to cope with, mitigate, and heal from their stress and trauma. Give them positive, healthy tools and strategies so they don’t make horrific choices like seriously hurting someone else. The Imagine Project is the perfect tool for this. Our research shows it increases a child’s ability to manage stress, makes them open to outside support, and they take more academic risks so they do better in school! Please check out the free journals and download them today. Bring them home to your kids, ask your teachers about them, share it with other teachers, counselors, and admin. The kids will love it and you will love it!

For more information you can refer to my book, The Imagine Project: Empowering Kids to Rise Above Drama, Trauma, and Stress. It’s not necessary to do the project, but it may be helpful.

Thank you and take care,

Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.