Archive for childhood resilience

Helping Students Cope with Stress in the 2021 School Year

It’s back to school time 2021 style and it’s just plain stressful for students, teachers, parents, and admin. The reasons are obvious and endless. I feel for all of those dealing with these unique and yet common stressors in schools.

We don’t need research to show us how stressed students are but here’s a few important points. Three quarters (75%) of American high schoolers and half of middle schoolers described themselves as “often or always feeling stressed” by schoolwork. A PEW survey shows that 70% of teens say anxiety and depression are a major problem among their peers. There is very little research regarding stress with elementary school students, but it’s definitely present. Watch the concern in their eyes, notice the increased behaviors of clinginess, unable to sit still, or even extremely quiet and a bit reclusive. Everyone is feeling it, no one is immune.

So how do you/we deal with this overwhelming stress? Beyond the common recommendations of deep breathing, exercise, eating healthy, yoga, laughter, and even a little bit of wine here and there (adults only), I suggest a beautiful, simple, and effective tool you can use yourself, with your students/children, and even as a family or group. It’s even FREE. Just go to www.theimagineproject.org to download the 7-step journal (for free).

The Imagine Project is a writing tool that gently asks kids K-12 (and adults) to write about a stressful event in their life—beginning every sentence using the word Imagine…

Imagine…coming back into a classroom after being gone from your school for over a year.
Imagine…being afraid.
Imagine…not knowing if your friends will be there.
Imagine…wearing a mask and not seeing your friends and teacher smile.
Imagine…being scared you might have to go back to virtual learning.
Imagine…not being able to focus because you’re scared.
Imagine…your teacher being kind and friendly.
Imagine…your friends feeling the same as you.
Imagine…relaxing and having fun in school.
Imagine…hope.

There are 7-steps to The Imagine Project (download the journals to follow each step in the journal format):
1. Write down something you love about your life.
2. Write down something that’s been difficult in your life, recently or in the past.
3. Take the event you wrote down in step 2 (a difficult event) and write a story about it using the word Imagine… to begin every sentence.

After Step 3 you can ask those writing (students in a classroom, participants in a group, or even as a family) to read their stories out loud. This is a powerful part of the process (and completely optional), it helps those reading to own their stories and feel heard by others around them.

4. Now write down how you want that story to end? Or what you learned from it if it’s already ended, all using the word Imagine…

Step 4 is a change in perspective, creating resilience and hope. (Click here to see the last 3 steps)

These steps give students the opportunity to express what’s in their hearts, share it in class if they’d like to, and then move forward beyond their difficult story. Some teachers might fear kids sharing their difficult stories in a classroom setting. It can be hard emotionally, but so powerful in creating comradery and a sense of family among students. With over 350,000 kids reached through The Imagine Project, we have not had any reports of bullying from this process. The opposite happens, compassion and kindness is cultivated.

The Imagine Project can be used once a semester or even once a week. Then when kids are facing a difficult situation in classrooms, at home, in school, or community they have a tool to fall back on to help them cope. Listen to 31-year veteran teacher Todd Daubert talking about using The Imagine Project in his classroom. He used The Imagine Project once a week as a tool for students to process their emotional challenges.

Research on Expressive Writing, and our research shows using The Imagine Project is powerful in decreasing stress and creating resilience. It’s simple and free!

For more information about The Imagine Project and helpful information on using it (videos, lessen plans, books, etc.), go to www.theimagineproject.org. Feel free to email Dianne through the website with any thoughts or questions.

Thank you and happy writing,

Dianne

Dianne is the founder and CEO of The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps children K-12 (and adults) process and heal from difficult life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne has her Masters in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing, has written multiple books, is an international speaker, lives outside of Denver, CO, and has 3 grown children. Learn more about The Imagine Project at www.theimagineproject.org.

How to Use Emotional Freedom Technique(EFT)/Tapping

Many people are curious about Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also called Tapping. Tapping is a tool anyone can use to help them deal with difficult emotions in life. All ages can be taught to use tapping, as young as 6 or 7 years old or as old as 100! It’s a simple, yet effective technique that can calm your nerves, relief anxiety, help you move through difficult emotions, and even help relieve physical pain and other ailments.

What is EFT/Tapping?

Tapping is based on the theories of Chinese medicine where they believe that energy runs through certain “meridians” (also might be called pathways) of the body like blood runs through veins and arteries. When the energetic pathways are blocked, illness happens. Energy blocks can be caused by stress and trauma. Inserting needles on those meridian points will release the energy causing the block, creating wellness again. In tapping, the same belief is true except we tap lightly on those points instead of using needles. There are various meridian points on the body that are related to specific emotions. When you tap on those points while talking to your subconscious, emotions are released and you can move into a state of comfort and wellness.

How to begin tapping?

Tapping is easy to learn, it just takes a bit of practice. You can watch these videos at www.theimagineproject.org to begin learning and practicing. Google EFT/tapping to find hundreds more video examples. Some practitioners have altered the pattern some, you can make it your own, but here is the simple overview:

  1. Ask yourself how your feeling. Angry? Sad? Ashamed? Sometime else? Measure how strong that emotion is on a scale of 1-10, 10 being intense. Also, feel where you feel that emotion in your body, maybe in your stomach, chest, throat, head, somewhere else? Just be aware of that physical sense in your body.
  2. Begin by using two fingers from either hand and tap with medium pressure just above your eyebrow to the inside, closer to your nose. Keep tapping as you say, “Even though I feel angry (or whatever emotion they named), I deeply and completely accept myself.”
  3. Now tap on your temple near your eye and say it again, “Even though I feel angry, I deeply and completely accept myself.” Now tap under your eye and say it again, “Even though I feel angry, I deeply and completely accept myself.” Now move to under your nose, tapping and saying, “I’m so angry.” Move to under your bottom lip and repeat. Now tap just under the middle of your collar bone, either side of your chest, continue to state your emotions (you can use more than 1 emotion). Move to under your armpit about two inches down, keep making about your emotions and tapping.
  4. Now move to the crevice or indentation on the top, pinky side of your hand and tap there while saying a profound statement about the emotion you are feeling. “I am really mad!” Stay tapping on that spot on the hand and look up with your eyes, then down. Look to the left and then right (do not move your head, just your eyes), make a circle with your eyes, go back the other way, hum a few notes of any tune you want (or just hum) and then count to five, then hum again. This is a critical part of the process, because it triggers different parts of the brain where emotion is often released.
  5. Now start all over again on the face and continue on all the spots you did the first round (eyebrow, temple, under your eye, under your nose, dimple in your chin, collar bone, below your arm pit, and the pinky side of the hand). Continue with this pattern until you are feeling better. This might take 5 minutes, or it might take 20 minutes (occasionally longer). You might sigh, take a deep breath, get distracted, smile. You can stop and ask yourself where you are emotionally on the scale of 1-10? Hopefully, it will be much lower, even 0! If not, keep going or switch to another emotion—there is often more than one emotion to deal with at a time.
  6. If you become very emotional during this process (this is actually good), don’t stop, keep going. Moving through intense emotion is an important part of the process. If you can’t remember the exact spots to tap on, no worries, just keep going, being exact doesn’t really matter. It’s the process of tapping in general and talking to your subconscious that creates the shift in emotion by releasing the stuck energy connected to the issue/emotion at hand. Keep practicing—you will see the amazing effects in a short time!

Research:

There have been hundreds of research projects looking at the effects of tapping. Overall they have shown that EFT lowers cortisol levels (cortisol is a stress hormone—too high of levels in your body can cause anxiety and numerous acute and long-term health problems), and it can also reprogram neuropathways in the brain. When the brain experiences chronic stress, the neuropathways of your brain are constantly in the stress mode—feeling anxiety, tension, and emotion often, even all the time. EFT/tapping can reprogram your brain to calm down, destress, and feel less negative emotion—and more positive emotion!

Like anything else learning to use tapping takes some time and practice, but keep trying and remember to use it anytime you are upset or just feeling off from life—the shift you will feel can be miraculous. It’s simple, effective, and free! If you’re issue doesn’t shift there might be something more complicated buried underneath that emotion, you may need to seek help from a therapist that uses EFT as part of their practice.

I would encourage you to try writing your Imagine story along with tapping, especially if you are struggling with an event in your life that has really made a negative impact on you emotionally (past or present). You can go to www.theimagineproject.org to download a free journal to get started.

Good luck and happy tapping!

Love,

Dianne

7 Tips to boost your child’s resilience and emotional wellness!

Every parent wants the best for their children. We work hard at making sure they eat right, do well in school, get enough sleep, etc. Another area that needs a great deal of focus is their emotional wellness. Emotional wellness means a child is able to express emotion, feel empathy and compassion, have health relationships, communicate freely, be responsible, accept help, have fun and feel joy, and be able to bounce back when they face adversity. Emotional wellness is key to being resilient in the face of any adversity. And since adversity is an integral part of life, we can’t really shield our children from it. Instead, we can promote emotional wellness and resilience by giving them tools to cope—lasting tools that can equip them to weather all the storms they encounter throughout their lives. Here are seven tips to help you help you help your child be their best self emotionally.

  • Spend quality time with your children every day without any distractions, showing them they are important and teaching them about how to have healthy relationships.
  • Ask your children about their day. “What was hard about your day and why? What was great and why? What are you grateful for in your day?”
  • Praise your child’s effort when doing things like helping around the house, working on homework, participating in sports, getting along with others—versus praising on the end product. “I like how hard you worked/how you persisted!”
  • If your child is resisting, acting out, or engaging in unwanted behaviors, before you react, take several slow, deep breaths to strengthen your ability to stay calm and then ask them what’s upsetting them. This strategy helps you get to the root of the issue and address the real problem so you can determine a real solution for correcting the behavior. “Can you tell me what just happened?” or “Tell me about your day” can open up a productive conversation and can even boost a child’s ability to self-correct.
  • Ask your child “What do you need?” to accomplish what you are asking them to do. This question helps them to think about themselves and to understand their needs and personality better.
  • Show them that you care about their feelings, their beliefs, their hopes and dreams—their identity. Avoid negative labels and judgments about who they are—for example, it’s okay to be quiet, smart, funny, cautious, timid, sensitive, boisterous, athletic, artistic, or assertive. A child’s personality may be different than you want or had hoped, but that’s ok. It’s good for your children to be true to themselves. See their strengths and their value, and validate them! You’ll boost your success with this if you practice being nonjudgmental and true to your own self, embracing your own quirks, and honoring your own strengths and value to the world. Of course there is always room for improvement, but know that you—and your child—are worthy, just the way you are!
  • Teach them empathy and compassion. They will learn by watching you. Teaching them how to be compassionate, kind, and caring when someone is hurting or needy is important in the world today.

If you find any one of these tips difficult to implement and/or the dynamics between you and your child challenging more often than you’d like it to be, then you or your child (or both) might have some unresolved stress or trauma you haven’t worked through yet. Try using The Imagine Project journaling process to help process and heal those issues (its FREE). You can both write your Imagine stories, share them, and grow together—it will be an amazing experience for everyone! Download the journals now—you will love the way it strengthens your relationship and builds resilience as well as emotional wellness.

Thank you and Happy Imagining!

Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US and internationally, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

 

 

 

 

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