Archive for Dianne Maroney

Nurturing a Child’s Mental Health through Simple Mindfulness Techniques

When we think about healing, many of us focus only on our physical bodies. In reality, there is a great deal of research showing our minds lead the way for our bodies. What we think drives what we do, how we behave, and how we interact. Our thoughts even affect our cellular structure. Scientists used to believe that the body was made up of only physical matter; it functioned in specific ways and was only affected by other matter such as chemical responses (medications), surgery, and other physical modalities. Now we know the body is more than matter—it’s energy, and can be affected by many things, particularly the mind.

In his book, The Biology of Belief, Bruce Lipton writes, “Thoughts, the mind’s energy, directly influence how the physical brain controls the body’s physiology. Thought ‘energy’ can activate or inhibit the cell’s function…” In other words, thoughts can control the health of both the mind and the body. Using the mind to help handle drama, trauma, and stress is the key to emotional wellness. Here are some useful tools to help your children’s/students’ minds cope with life.

Mindfulness

As summer arrives, it’s a great time to create new health habits with our kids. Mindfulness is a great habit that will support our emotional and mental health (for life). Mindfulness is about being fully aware of what is happening in the present moment, both internally and externally. It’s a conscious decision to pay attention to your body, mind, emotions, and external circumstances, and to do so from a nonjudgmental place—a place of noticing and letting go of anything that doesn’t serve you. This may sound challenging, and it can be at times, but the more you practice the easier it gets. For kids, the earlier they learn these habits, the greater the impact.

According to research on mindfulness with adults and with children, mindfulness improves immune function (fewer illnesses), increases concentration, and decreases stress. There is a long list of positive effects on children who practice mindfulness.

Many who teach mindfulness advocate that it begins with paying attention to your breath. In calm moments, or in times of distress, bring your attention back to your breath, and practice long, slow, mindful breathing. This is key to embracing the moment and restoring or strengthening calm in your brain and body. In her book, Rising Strong, Brené Brown writes about her “calm practice” in which “breathing is central to practicing mindful- ness.” You can try it by sitting quietly and gently paying attention to your breath, counting slowly as you breathe in and out. The goal is breathing into a count of about 3-5 and breathe out with a longer exhale. The longer exhale triggers your nervous system to relax physically as well as mentally. You may have to work at going this slow, but just try it at your own pace and work at moving to a slower, deeper breath. Then practice at other times too, in your car, waiting in a doctor’s office, or watching TV. The more you experiment and work at it, the more prepared you’ll be when you really need it to calm yourself in stressful situations!

Practicing Mindfulness with Kids and Teens

Practicing mindfulness with kids can begin during the early weeks of a pregnancy, which is an important time of brain growth. Sitting quietly for a time each day, perhaps reading or listening to music, can program your unborn baby’s biology, and reduce susceptibility to emotional problems early in life. With newborns, take time to just sit and rock, sing, read, and enjoy your baby. Be very present and not distracted by other things around you. As your babies grow into children, continue with quiet times—no phone, no TV, no distractions, just you and your children experiencing and talking about life.

You may need to be creative to help your growing child with mindfulness. Here are some ideas:

  • Sit together and have a snack. Talk about the snack and its characteristics, your favorite flavor, its texture, its temperature. Really noticing what you’re eating helps you be in the moment instead of worrying about anything else. To be playful, make funny faces to show your opinion of a food, or come up with creative ideas for weird meals.
  • Do a puzzle together.
  • Go for a walk and talk about the trees, birds, bugs, or grass.
  • Read a book together. Talk about the book and what you both thought about the story and characters.
  • Ask your child about the weather inside their hearts—sunny, cloudy, bright, rainy, or stormy. Be curious about their day and its highs and lows.
  • Write your Imagine stories together.
  • Play a game, anything from peek-a-boo and hide-and-go-seek to card games or board games.
  • Cook together.
  • Chase bubbles.
  • Look at the clouds and find formations in them.
  • Pick a country on the world map and research it.
  • Draw, color, create together.
  • Tell a story at bedtime, real or fictional.

Any one of these activities needs to be your full focus for at least 15 minutes, even longer can be better; no distractions, just one-on-one attention while you are being mindful of the present moment. The above suggestions are forms of mindfulness you can do together. What a great way to do something together that is peaceful and helpful.

Happy Imagining!

Dianne is the founder and CEO of The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps children K-12 (and adults) process and heal from difficult life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne has her Masters in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing, is a thought leader in stress and trauma in children, has written multiple award winning books including The Imagine Project: Empowering Kids to Rise Above Drama, Trauma, and Stress. She is an international speaker, lives in Colorado and has 3 grown children. Learn more about The Imagine Project at www.theimagineproject.org.

Advice for Teaching Children Kindness and Optimism

We all understand that kids learn by watching their parents and other adults in their lives. If those guiding adults are kind and optimistic, then they will watch and learn. But sometimes we get busy and forget these important behaviors ourselves. Or our kids need extra help learning how to be kind and optimistic. Kindness and optimism are so important in our world and high on the list for making sure our kids practice them.

Kindness

It feels good to be kind. It’s in our nature to be kind, but we have to teach and cultivate it in ourselves and our children. Kindness not only benefits others, it has positive effects on our bodies and our minds.

Research has shown that doing acts of kindness will:

  • make us happier,
  • improve immune function,
  • change chemical balance in the brain to reduce depression,
  • release oxytocin (a happy hormone!),
  • decrease inflammation in the body, improving our health,
  • helps us feel better about ourselves,
  • decrease bullying,
  • increase peer acceptance, and
  • is contagious!

Talking to your children about being kind is important, but kids learn what they see, so the more they wit- ness and experience kindness, the more they will practice it themselves. Step 7 in My Imagine Journal encourages one random act of kindness every day for 30 days—a great way to ingrain a kindness philosophy into a child’s life. There are hundreds of simple acts of kindness to show and teach kids, www.kindness.org has great ideas. Here are some to begin with:

  • Write a thank you card.
  • Let someone go ahead of you in line.
  • Carry something for someone who needs help.
  • Talk to someone new at school.
  • Donate food or clothing.
  • At a restaurant or store, tell an employee what a good job they did for you.
  • Pick up litter.
  • Help make dinner.
  • Write a poem for a friend.
  • Talk to a lonely neighbor.
  • Play with a pet (you might even go to an animal shelter and play with the animals there).
  • Give your mom a neck or shoulder massage :).
  • Tell someone why they are special to you.

Optimism

Optimism is a mindset. Optimistic people see the positive side of things. It’s not always easy to be optimistic, and it may not always be possible, but it’s important to be mindful around practicing optimism. Some people are naturally optimistic—they are just born that way—but it’s also some- thing kids learn through experiences and watching those around them. Regardless of how negative someone is, they can learn to be more optimistic.

Optimistic people are more successful, resilient, less stressed, and actually live longer. Here are a few tips to help kids be more optimistic:

  • Recognize when they are successful and remark about it; refrain from negative remarks about times when they are not successful.
  • Help them be successful by having them do things you know they will succeed in. Set them up for success by giving them the tools and teaching them the skills they need.
  • When things go wrong, acknowledge their feelings; once they’ve moved through the disappointment, talk about the good that might have come out of the situation.
  • Help them reframe failure as an opportunity to learn and grow.
  • Ward off pessimistic thinking habits by encouraging positive thinking habits. For example, instead of “Something is wrong with me,” say, “That was a difficult task. I need more help/a new set of skills/better tools.” Instead of, “I’ll never succeed,” say, “I will be better prepared and try harder next time.” Instead of, “All tests are hard,” say, “That test was hard.” Instead of, “I never pass tests,” say, “I didn’t pass the test yesterday.”
  • Don’t label kids negatively—give them positive labels. For example, say, “energetic” not “hyperactive;” “sensitive” not “moody;” or “bright, inquisitive, and enthusiastic” not “troublemaker.”
  • Watch your own words—keep them as positive as possible.
  • Be optimistic yourself—you know the old saying “Fake it until you make it.” Do your best to be realistically positive.

My son, Frank, has a silly game he uses to stay positive called, “The Opposite of That”. When he has a sore throat he will call me and say, “Mom, my throat feels awesome, but the opposite of that!” or when he’s running out of money he will say, “I have so much money in my account, but the opposite of that!” Try it sometime, it’s kind of fun, especially with kids, and it feels much better than just stating the negative truth.

Kindness and Optimism take practice, but they are so important for our children to learn and they make a positive impact in the world. You can begin by using The Imagine Project journals to support your process of emotional health, kindness and optimism. Download the journal here—it’s free and a great writing project for all.

Happy Imagining,

Dianne

Dianne is the founder and CEO of The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps children K-12 (and adults) process and heal from difficult life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne has her Masters in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing, is a thought leader in stress and trauma in children, has written multiple award winning books, is an international speaker, lives outside of Denver, CO, and has 3 grown children. Learn more about The Imagine Project at www.theimagineproject.org.

Imagine Hope!

In my fifth grade classroom during the peak COVID era—a hugless year of masks, social distancing and hand sanitizer, I had a student named Chloe (watch her video here) who ended every one of her imagine stories with the same two words, “Imagine Hope!”  At the time I found those words catchy and inspiring–and so did my class.  In fact, eventually everyone ended their Imagine stories with “Imagine Hope!”, and it became our class motto. Quite fitting for that specific year.

Why is hope important:

Hope is a word that gets used a lot but may not be understood as well as it needs to be.

I love this quote from Brene’ Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are (I also really love this entire book)!

“Hope is not an emotion; it’s a way of thinking or a cognitive process. Emotions play a supporting role, but hope is really a thought process made up of… a trilogy of goals, pathways, and agency.  In very simple terms, hope happens when…

We have the ability to set realistic goals (I know where I want to go).

We are able to figure out how to achieve those goals, including the ability to stay flexible and develop alternative routes (I know how to get there, I’m persistent, and I can tolerate disappointment and try again).

We believe in ourselves (I can do this!).”

This explains why Chloe’s intuitive “Imagine Hope!” was so inspirational to my students.  Hope leads to action.  In The Imagine Project writing process, the writer is asked to write about a difficult time in life to help with emotional expression and processing—using the word Imagine to begin every sentence. Then in step 4, the writer is asked to write how they would like their story to end (also using the word Imagine), encouraging the writer to take a hopeful turn.

To better understand what hope is, let’s first understand what hope isn’t:

Hope isn’t positive thinking. Too often positive thinking is used to avoid the uncomfortable emotions in life and can be wielded like a weapon by people who just want to avoid discomfort.  Comments like, “Look on the bright side!” or “Just think positive!” can lead to the suppression of genuine emotions that need to be expressed.  The Imagine Project leads with acknowledging the discomfort of life so that people can feel, see, and hear right where they are.  Instead of only positive thinking, the writer is asked to imagine their story taking a hopeful turn, it invites the writer and the listener to imagine a different future for themselves, and then to take steps forward to move toward that hopeful future while accepting the difficult present.

Psychologist Dr. Andrea Bonoir wrote about the health benefits of hope in an article for Psychology Today,  In it she writes We feel less helpless and less uncertain about the future (and helplessness and uncertainty both increase our stress, in ways that can be detrimental to our health over time). Increased hope also gives us a buffer in order to sustain some setbacks: it can help with our resilience when there are bumps in the road, helping us have the energy to continue on the path that we are on before giving up.”

In addition, Laura King, a researcher from the University of Missouri Department of Psychological Sciences, did a study on the health benefits of writing about life goals, and she discovered that, “Five months after writing, a significant interaction emerged such that writing about trauma, one’s best possible self, or both were associated with decreased illness compared with controls. Examining the most hopeful aspects of our lives through writing—our best imagined futures, our “most cherished self-wishes” (Allport, 1961)—might also bestow on us the benefits of writing that have been long assumed to be tied only to our traumatic histories.”

We encourage you to write your imagine story (click here for the free journal), when you get to the end of your imagine story, try framing the ending around a “hopeful turn.” Sometimes people really struggle coming up with ideas for a hopeful ending to their imagine stories, especially students.  To assist with this, we have been given generous permission by Bret Stein, the creator of The Feelings Wheel (download it here). It is an integral part of the Center for Nonviolent Communication and now we are using it to help people identify feelings that can help drive their imagine stories.

Here is how it works:

The wheel is divided into twelve core emotions, six of which we feel when our needs are not being met, and six of which we feel when our needs are being met. The feelings are organized by color with opposites directly across from each other.  After writing your imagine story focused on the feelings you have when your needs are not being met, find the “hopeful turn” by identifying the opposite emotion you hope to feel directly across the wheel and then write what you imagine happening to experience that feeling.

It is my hope that you and your students will experience the power of The Imagine Project and the “hopeful turn” and that it will lead to goal setting, resiliency, and agency. Download the free journals here to get started!

Imagine Hope!

Written by Todd Daubert, Educational Consultant, The Imagine Project, Inc.

Woodland Elementary Expands Their Use of The Imagine Project!

The Imagine Project (TIP) is currently working with the incredible staff at Woodland Elementary in Cherry Creek Schools in Colorado to make Imagine story writing a foundational piece of their school culture in order to support the social emotional wellness of their students. When you walk in the door, their school’s just cause is proudly framed as an Imagine story.

Imagine feeling a sense of belonging where you are valued, seen, and heard.

Imagine taking action in equity, celebrating diversity, and empowering others.

Imagine believing all children can learn.

Imagine engaging in an inclusive, dynamic, and resilient culture.

Imagine creating a brave space that sparks joy, wonder, and a passion for learning.

The teachers at Woodland first experienced The Imagine Project for themselves during work week in August. The next step was to utilize their students’ imagine stories for a school-wide cultural identity project that involved their entire community. An essential part of the success the teachers at Woodland are experiencing can be attributed to partnering with their students’ families from the outset.  

The first Imagine story that the teachers wrote with their students was focused on the feelings students had starting a new school year.  This was particularly important because Woodland is a brand new school, but it is a topic that all teachers, students, and families have a variety of feelings about.  They used the stories to get to know their students’ past school experiences as well as their hopes for the upcoming year.  They then sent the stories home and invited their students’ families to write a story of their own as a way to communicate past experiences, concerns, fears, and hopes with their child’s teacher.  The letter they sent home can be found on The Imagine Project’s website here. As you can see, not only does the letter explain the purpose and power of writing an Imagine story, it also provides a guided tool for writing one.  From here, every family was informed and invited to participate in Imagining Woodland.

Over the first few weeks of school, teachers have used The Imagine Project in their classrooms to allow their students to talk about any challenges they might be experiencing in their lives, past or present. This gives the students the opportunity to learn the technique and flow of The Imagine Project, as well as creating a safe space for emotional expression, compassion and camaraderie in the classroom. Now, the teachers are moving toward purposefully planning for the use of The Imagine Project throughout their curriculum. Here are some of their ideas:

  • In kindergarten they will be writing/drawing/telling stories focused on identifying different feelings in picture books in order to build empathy and perspective taking skills.
  • In first grade they will be writing/drawing Imagine stories to go with their study of biographies where students will use everything they have learned about their inspirational person to help others understand that person’s life experience.
  • In second grade they plan to write Imagine stories from the perspective of changing landforms (volcanoes, earthquakes, etc.) as a summative assessment where students will show their understanding of the scientific processes involved while personifying their chosen landform.
  • In third grade students will be focusing their Imagine stories on the social studies topic of human migration as they demonstrate a deeper understanding of why people move from place to place and then connect it to their family’s story.
  • In fourth grade students will be studying different perspectives on the important events during Colorado’s history and expressing them through Imagine stories.
  • In fifth grade imagine stories will be used to help navigate the emotions that arise with the transition to middle school.

All the grades are planning to use The Feelings Wheel (download it here) as a tool for conversation and conflict resolution in their classrooms as issues arise interpersonally (friendship issues) and collectively (playground issues).  We have been given generous permission from its creator, Bret Stein, to share The Feelings Wheel with you. It is an integral part of the Center for Nonviolent Communication, and now we are using it to help people identify feelings that can help drive their Imagine stories. Look for future blog posts about how this tool can be used to write Imagine stories. 

It is very exciting to see a school so committed to understanding that addressing the individual barriers to learning, practicing empathy, expressing emotions, and holding space for each other’s story are essential to educating the whole child. If you are interested in helping your school experience and incorporate The Imagine Project into its culture please contact Dianne (dianne@theimagineproject.com) and we will be happy to help. You can begin by downloading The Imagine Project journal for your classroom here (it’s free). 

Happy Imagining! Thank you,

Dianne Maroney, RN, MSN

Thank you to Todd Daubert for contributing this blog to The Imagine Project!

Small Changes That Make a Big Difference in Your Child’s Happiness

Children deserve to grow up happy, loved, and supported no matter their environment. According to an article on child development, various factors contribute to children’s happiness and wellbeing. Beyond economic stability and educational access, it’s important that children have strong and healthy relationships with their families. Children with supportive family members perform well academically and socially, while also reporting higher levels of overall life satisfaction.

The journey towards improving your child’s happiness and quality of life can start with transforming habits and behaviors at home. These may be small changes, but they ultimately make a significant difference in how children think and feel about themselves and the world around them.

Make time to communicate

Despite the busyness of daily life, it helps to communicate with your children. Whether it’s about motivating them at the start of the day or asking them how their day at school went, talking to your children sends them a message that you value their needs, feelings, and experiences. Furthermore, a study about parent-child communication published in Frontiers Psychology emphasizes the quality, and not just the frequency, of conversations. This contributes to the child’s positive self-concept, self-esteem, and confidence.

The quality of the conversations can be improved by ensuring your child isn’t always relegated to being the listener or receiver of information. Allow your child to take the lead in the conversation while encouraging them through nonverbal affirmations like nodding your head and maintaining eye contact.

Seek professional help

There are instances where a child may develop signs of poor mental health, such as withdrawal from social interactions or disruptions in their sleeping patterns. While it’s still our responsibility as parents to address potential or existing stressors, seeking professional help from licensed health professionals allows us to access more tools and resources related to mental health. Despite the shortage of mental health professionals across the country, you can find excellent online therapists to help. Everyday Health has an extensive list of providers, as well as Forbes lists online therapy providers that either charge per session or per weekly/monthly subscription. Most of the services allow you to choose a therapist that best matches your child’s situation.

With the advent of telemedicine, there are now remote nurse practitioners who can also address specific health needs. Remote mental health nurse practitioners across states are making up for the shortfall to provide all-around care and support starting from initial consultations to follow-up visits and medication plans. Their focus on child and family health can help alleviate common barriers like the availability and affordability of care. These remote services mainly benefit children who are more comfortable receiving counseling in the comfort of their own homes or children whose health conditions or special needs make it difficult to access care services at fixed facilities.

Minimize screen time

Regardless of your child’s age, it’s vital to set reasonable limits for their screen time and use of social media. As much as the increasingly digital world allows them to expand their knowledge and communicate with others despite the distance, nothing beats the organic experience of unstructured and unplugged playtime. Included in our list of ways to mitigate parents’ and children’s stress was scheduling two to four hours of downtime each day. This can come in the form of going for a short walk outside, biking to the park, doing puzzles, singing, and dancing. Not only do these activities let them relax and get in touch with the world around them, but your emotional bond and connection also improve when you make sure you play together!

Have regular family meals

This last change may seem the simplest of all, but parents sometimes overlook the importance of having regular family meals. No matter how busy your respective schedules get, an article on The Hill says family meals are a great way to reduce stress, strengthen connections, and boost the self-esteem of your children. When you mainly serve healthy and hearty dishes for mealtime, your children can find stability and consistency in their eating habits. You can further elevate this bonding experience by preparing the food together, especially on weekends or special occasions.

Overall, quality time together with fun and supportive conversations will support your child’s happiness now and for their lifetime. To help your child communicate emotions they may have difficultly talking about, you can also write your Imagine stories together. It’s fun, easy, and free. Download a journal today at www.theimagineproject.org.

Thank you,

The Imagine Project Team

Article written by Renee Jessa (Submitted to The Imagine Project)

10 Ideas for Infusing The Imagine Project into your Classroom Consistently

Every teacher wants their students to feel emotionally supported in their classroom–when a child feels emotionally stable, they can take in and learn information. The Imagine Project is a tool that will support a student’s emotional health. At first you might see The Imagine Project as a one time use, but it’s meant to be a forever tool that students lean on for their emotional support as many do with journaling. If our dream is for students in our classrooms to choose to write Imagine stories independently during the times in their lives when they need it most, then it is crucial that they have consistent practice using the tool. In order to provide that practice, planning for the intentional use of The Imagine Project across the curriculum is essential. Rather than every experience with The Imagine Project being emotionally intense, we want to show students that anytime we are exploring different perspectives or emotions an Imagine story can be useful. In this blog we will explore 10 ways The Imagine Project can be used as an intentional instructional tool.  

Once you have taken the first step and experienced the power of The Imagine Project with your students by completing the entire process as a class, it is time to plan for its deliberate use in your general instruction.  

  1. One idea to consider is that an Imagine story can actually be just a quick, single sentence as a way for students to process and share their perspective or feelings on a particular topic either before it is taught as a way to assess or after instruction as a way to reflect.  
  2. Another idea is to use The Feelings Wheel (downloadable on our website) and an imagine statement as a weekly/daily check in with students. 
  3. You can write a class Imagine story outlining the expectations for behavior and learning in your classroom.  By framing it around the idea of “Imagine a class who…” you can use it as an aspirational document to set your intentions for the year together.
  4. At the beginning or ending of a grading period, you can write hopeful Imagine stories that can be turned into actionable goals using the frame of “I am… I can… I will.”  Remember that hope happens when students feel in charge of their future and create flexible plans to achieve their goals. 
  5. Take the 30 Day Imagine Challenge where you end each day writing and sharing three things that you imagine happening in your life, three things you are grateful for in your life, and one act of kindness that you have done or plan to do. They say after 30 days new habits form, and this is a habit that can transform the climate in your classroom.  
  6. Choose an emotion of the week to explore with an Imagine story.  This is a great chance to use The Feelings Wheel and build emotional vocabulary and empathy together.  
  7. Explore problems and their solutions using the design cycle but frame it around an Imagine story where students help others to empathize with the problem they are trying to solve and then show how their solution will improve the world.
  8. Develop a deeper understanding of point of view and perspective by writing Imagine stories from the point of view of fictional or historical characters.  The hopeful turn can be used to predict endings to stories.
  9. The Feelings Wheel can be used to identify emotional character traits in fictional or historical characters and how they change over time. This also helps to build a complex emotional vocabulary. 
  10.  When issues arise in class, planned or unplanned, that lead to taking sides and debate, imagine stories can be written so both sides can express their feelings around a position along with what they hope for in the future.  While empathy will grow as both sides share, it is interesting how commonalities arise in the hopeful turns which can lead to shared understanding and solutions. 

*For more ideas check out the downloadable Powerpoint on our website.

These are only a few ideas for infusing The Imagine Project into your daily classroom planning. If we can get students using this tool on a regular basis, then when unexpected issues arise it will be a natural path forward and you will have a built in tool for emotional regulation that will help your students to be more available to learn. If we can create a habit of writing Imagine stories in our students’ lives, then when students are dealing with the difficulties of life on their own, they will have a tool for exploring and expressing their feelings. The work you do every day in your classroom is the work of saving lives and providing hope for the future.  

Download the Imagine Journals (for FREE) and start today! Thank you and good luck!

Written by Todd Daubert, Educational Consultant and veteran elementary teacher

Thank you so much,
Dianne

Dianne is the founder and CEO of The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps children K-12 (and adults) process and heal from difficult life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne has her Masters in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing, is a thought leader in stress and trauma in children, has written multiple award winning books, is an international speaker, lives outside of Denver, CO, and has 3 grown children. Learn more about The Imagine Project at www.theimagineproject.org.

How Can Adults Help Children Who Are Victims of Cyberbullying

We want to shelter our children from all forms of harm or danger. In the age of information, however, this can be a challenge. Many — including adults — lack an understanding of how security works online. Hence, they could end up unprepared to deal with the realities of cyberbullying.

This is more common than we think. Around 59% of American teens have experienced some form of online harassment, including children younger than high school age.

Cyberbullying is available 24 hours a day and has a permanent quality, saved and circulated on the internet. In times like these, it’s important that adults help the victims, but this must be done sensitively and efficiently. Let’s take a closer look below at the different ways adults can help.

Prioritizing mental health

The first step to help should always be assessing the child’s disposition. A child’s mental health is delicate and a traumatizing event like being cyberbullied can have long-lasting effects on their welfare. It’s important to show them that they have your support and guiding them through mental health stress reduction tools such as The Imagine Project can provide an outlet for them to express and process their emotions.
Carefully watch out for symptoms that show they’re not coping well, such as becoming easily agitated or getting sick more often. They may require professional support from a child therapist until the situation and their behavior improves.

Seeking legal support

It’s important to show a child their feelings are valid by taking the proper measures to address the severity of the situation. This helps prevent children from withdrawing into themselves and from society, while teaching them about their rights as well.

Explain to them how cyberbullying is a punishable crime. Take note, however, that properly handling a case requires knowledge in psychology and criminology. Here, specialists like victim advocates play important roles in maintaining the welfare of the victims while seeking accountability from the guilty party. Adults can enlist their support to help guide the child through the process of restorative justice.

Finding justice helps the child find closure and allows them to focus on personal healing afterwards.

Creating a safe space

With the severity of cyberbullying, it’s important that the child’s immediate circles are aware of the situation. School teachers, principals, or counselors, who play crucial roles in a child’s upbringing, can also play a role in helping the child cope with the aftereffects of bullying.

This is especially crucial if the bullying involved another student, and can enable schools to strengthen their anti-bullying policies and procedures. Treating bullying as a community issue provides the victim with a supportive environment where their feelings are validated, and they know that they aren’t alone.

Forming preventive measures

While the case is ongoing, adults should immediately prevent any escalation by encouraging the child to block the bully and not engage any further. It’s enough to keep a copy of the bullying so legal measures can be taken.

When justice has been served, adults can take further means to keep the child safe from similar incidents. Talking with them so that they can rationalize what has happened helps, but avoid cutting them off from technology completely.

Instead, teach them that technology is a tool. It can be harmful, but if they know how to defend themselves, technology can be fun and beneficial. For children of young ages, adults can invest in a parental control software like Bark that monitors social media and text messaging. This then uses advanced technology and AI to prevent cyberbullying from occurring.

It’s our responsibility as adults to guide our children through the dangers of the world, and that means prevention as well as aftercare. That’s why besides providing a means for expressive writing to mentally heal, the Imagine Project also aims to lessen bullying. This is done by creating self-awareness and internal understanding, so that children will no longer be victims of their own experiences.In the digital age, cyberbullying can be a worrying reality. Hence why adults need to stay updated on the latest technology and digital trends so we can protect our children for years to come and access the tools for support when they need it.

Article written by Renee Jessa

Submitted to The Imagine Project

 

How to Help Your Child Cope With a Divorce

Navigating a divorce is no easy venture, especially if children are involved in the mix. If you’re stressed out or visibly affected by any major life change, this may translate to strong emotions within your child as well. Acknowledging how this split will affect them and making a mature plan of action with your co-parent will minimize trauma and help your kids cope. Here are some of our best tips on how to approach this process.

Communicate Effectively

From the initial divorce discussion and beyond, communication is a major step in easing the tension that a child could be feeling. Let them know why you’re splitting up (in a simplified way) and reassure them that it’s not their fault. If possible, make sure that you’re breaking this news with the other parent present. This way, you can both answer questions in the best way possible. 

You’re also going to want to communicate details about living situations, schedules, routines, and more. The way in which you approach these conversations is going to be different depending on the ages of your children. Kids who are under age six may just need reassurance that they’ll be looked after and able to see both parents. If they’re a bit older, they’ll be more emotionally in-tune and able to think more about the circumstances that led to the divorce.

Respect Their Feelings and Listen

Despite how old your children are, it’s important to be there to answer their questions and continue reassuring them that everything is going to be okay. Make sure you’re a good listener and that you can recognize and validate their feelings. Giving them an opportunity to express these feelings and letting them know when there will be changes to their day-to-day will help them adjust in time.

One of the most important things that you can do is to continue showing up for your child. Staying as involved in their life as possible will remind them of your unfaltering love and support. Going to their band concerts, shopping together for school dances, and visiting them at college family weekends, for example, will prove time and again how important they are to you. Make sure that you continue being conscientious of your child’s mental health. If they’re showing signs of emotional imbalance, you may also want to have them speak to a school counselor or therapist so they can consult with an outside point of view.

Keep Things Private

Make sure you avoid dumping bad feelings onto your children about their other parent. They’re dealing with this process in their own way and don’t need second-hand stress knowing how things ended, especially if there’s hostility. This could translate into symptoms of trauma, immense guilt, and anxiety for your children. The right outlet for this is professional help like therapy sessions or divorce groups with parents who have gone through the same thing. Making sure you’re maintaining self-care, eating well, and staying productive is important to personally cope with a divorce as well.

Though the proceedings of a divorce can last months, you may want to keep meetings with your lawyers and the sticky parts of divvying up assets as private as possible. In the meantime, make sure you’re still sticking to a routine with your children. This will provide them with a continued sense of stability, especially as they’re experiencing so many changes.

Give Them Their Own Space

If you’re looking to purchase a home after the divorce proceedings and bring your kids into a new space, consider speeding along the process with a pre approved mortgage. This will reduce the amount of time they spend with uncertainty and create a new sense of belonging and stability sooner, in turn helping your kids cope with the divorce better. After this step, you can try to involve your kids when house hunting and highlight some upsides of a move. Maybe the new home is closer to their friends or school. It may have a great rec center, soccer field, basketball court, or community pool nearby. Any sudden change in environment can feel like the end of the world for a child but reassuring them that you’re keeping their best interests at heart can help during this challenging process.

Since you’ll likely be co-parenting in two separate homes, it’s important to give your children their own space for comfort and happiness. Whether they have their own room in a new house or still share the space with a sibling, you should bring items from their other room so that there’s a level of familiarity. Once you have some of their favorite things, you can start adding some fun new decor and involving them in the decorating process. Asking them to help pick out paint, posters, or bedding can be an engaging activity to do together that ensures you’re crafting a space they’re comfortable in.

Stay Positive

Avoid talking about your ex-spouse in a negative manner and be gracious when you co-parent. Even if it’s a challenge, you must be supportive of the time that your kids are spending with their other parent. Continuing to remain civil during get-togethers, games, graduations, and more goes a long way. There will be times that you have to see your former partner, and it’s much healthier to maintain a positive relationship for the sake of your children.

If you need help developing a Mindful Co-parenting Plan, click here for a program that may be helpful.

There are many proven psychological effects of divorce on children that may result in them externalizing their emotions. This can build up and lead to poor performance in school, anger towards friends and classmates, health problems from stress, and more. Taking steps to minimize stress from divorce is possible with empathy and proper attention. Help your children express their emotions and develop resilience by using The Imagine Project. The Imagine Project is a transformative journaling process that helps children (and adults—you can use it too) work through their challenging life experiences and even Imagine a positive ending to their difficult story. Working through an incredibly challenging life change like divorce is hard, but in the end it can create resilience and the ability to adapt to life as it comes. Giving a child the opportunity to express themselves will promote self-awareness and improve mental health.

Good luck and take care.

Love,

Dianne

Dianne is the founder and CEO of The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps children K-12 (and adults) process and heal from difficult life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne has her Masters in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing, is a thought leader in stress and trauma in children, has written multiple award winning books, is an international speaker, lives outside of Denver, CO, and has 3 grown children. Learn more about The Imagine Project at www.theimagineproject.org.

Successful Back to School—Social-Emotional Support to Help Students Thrive

It’s back to school time again and most educators are acutely aware of the potential social emotional needs of students. Last school year was a challenging year for many teachers. Anxiety, social insecurities, inability to focus, distractions coming from many angles were worse than prepandenmic times. How can teachers give students the opportunity to stay present, grounded, feel accepted, and focus on learning? One simple and free way is by using The Imagine Project.

Emotional support through writing

The Imagine Project is a writing tool that gives kids an opportunity to talk about issues that are bothering them; a difficult life event or a stressful situations they’ve experienced recently or in the past. This is done by having students K-12 write their story using Imagine to begin every sentence. They follow a 7-step simple writing process that’s in a journal format. The journals can be downloaded (for free) at www.theimagineproject.org. The beautiful part of this writing process is in Step 4 where the writer is asked to Imagine a new, more positive version of their story—helping them shift to a positive mindset, giving them the social emotional support to move forward and learn.

How to begin

Students can begin the first week of school by writing a story about coming back to school—their worries, hopes, and dreams. They can keep an Imagine journal and write it in often, on their own or together in the classroom; particularly when there is an emotional event in their lives, classroom, school, or in the world. Using this process often teaches students a tool they can use whenever needed as difficult life circumstances occur.

Social Emotional support in the classroom

When classrooms do The Imagine Project together and read their stories out loud to each other, empathy and camaraderie are created. Kids hear that they aren’t alone in their experiences and they feel a sense of relief in telling their story, and a sense that they’ve been heard. It’s a remarkable and beautiful process to watch students in a classroom come together and support one another. Relationships are critical for our social emotional health, as is self-expression. The Imagine Project helps promote both of these. Watch here to teachers and students talking about using The Imagine Project in their classrooms.

Student Stress

When a student is experiencing stress (past or present) it’s difficult for them to make friends, focus, and learn in school. Giving them a simple process (that meets many core standards and can be incorporated into many lessons plans) will support their social emotional needs and growth–something students need now more than ever. To learn more and get started go to The Imagine Project Getting Started page. If you recognize the value of social emotional support for students as students go back to school and throughout the school year, you will love The Imagine Project!

Thank you,

Dianne

Dianne is the founder and CEO of The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps children K-12 (and adults) process and heal from difficult life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne has her Masters in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing, is a thought leader in stress and trauma in children, has written multiple award winning books including The Imagine Project: Empowering Kids to Rise Above Drama, Trauma, and Stress. She is an international speaker, lives in Colorado and has 3 grown children. Learn more about The Imagine Project at www.theimagineproject.org.

 

Addressing a Child’s Mental Health is Important

Mental health means having emotional, psychological, and social well-being; when we think, act, and feel from a balanced perspective the majority of the time. Having a balanced and grounded perspective helps us make healthy choices, be kind, express emotion, accept help when we need it, handle stress effectively, feel empathy, laugh, feel joy, and relate to others easily. This are true in every stage of life. As young children grow they develop these skills, and we even continue to develop them throughout adulthood.

Supporting and helping children find emotional wellness is a very important part of parenting. It’s also important for teachers, counselors, extended family, even coaches to spend time addressing emotional wellness as they surround and work with a child or teen. “It takes a village” as the old saying goes, and it’s still true today. We all can contribute to the health and well-being of a child.

But what if a child show signs of a mental or emotional imbalance? Significant mental health challenges can and do occur in young children. Children and teens can develop characteristics of anxiety disorders, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, conduct disorder, depression, and/or posttraumatic stress disorder at any age. These will depend on life experiences, genetic make-up, parent/family and external support, even school and social experiences. A sensitive child might have a difficult life experience that changes their view of the world dramatically, where another child who is less sensitive will just plow right through it without even a scratch. Moving for example, can be hard on one child, altering their sense of safety and self-awareness. Another child might find it easy and effortless to fit into a new place.

Know that watching a child for signs of mental or emotional imbalances is important. If they become:

  • Quiet or withdrawn
  • Agitated easily
  • Impulsive
  • Overly attached to you or someone/thing
  • Showing signs of obsessive compulsive behavior (always need things in order and having to repeat the same things over and over again)
  • Hyperreactive
  • Lacking empathy
  • Poor emotional control
  • Frequent colds or health issues
  • Anxious, sad, or depressed

Showing one or more of these behaviors could mean your child/student is not coping well with his or her current (or past) situation and could use some extra support.

Spend time with them. Just doing simple things like games, puzzles, cooking, walking or talking will show them they are supported. Ask a few questions when the timing is right (when both of you are relaxed and grounded). Use “How” and “What” questions. Avoid yes, no. or why questions. Get them some outside help either through school or an outside counselor if things doing settle down and their behaviors improve.

Addressing mental health needs in school is critically important too because 1 in 5 children have a diagnosable emotional, behavioral or mental health disorder and 1 in 10 young people have a mental health challenge that is severe enough to impair how they function at home, school, or in the community.

The earlier the intervention, the better the outcome of a child facing some level of stress and/or trauma in their lives. Know that the stress or trauma doesn’t have to be a big thing for some kids, it could be mild but they need to learn healthy coping skills. The earlier they are taught, the less of an impact difficult life experiences will have on them. Life seems to be more and more stressful as time goes on, so give them opportunities to learn good coping skills now.

One very healthy skill is expressive writing. Expressive writing is free writing, where the writer just speaks from their hearts without worrying about grammar, punctuation or spelling. The Imagine Project is one simple, safe, effective, and free way for a child, teen, or adult to express their emotions, process that’s happened, heal their hearts, and imagine a new story in its place—all using the word Imagine… Anyone from anywhere in the world can download the journal and use this process to cope. Check out our website and try it for yourself or download it for someone you love.

Happy Imagining!

Love,

Dianne

Dianne is the founder and CEO of The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps children K-12 (and adults) process and heal from difficult life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne has her Masters in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing, has written multiple books, is an international speaker, lives outside of Denver, CO, and has 3 grown children. Learn more about The Imagine Project at www.theimagineproject.org.

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