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Archive for helping students cope with trauma – Page 2

Supporting Stressed Kids in the Classroom

By Dianne Maroney
Wednesday, August 29th, 2018

Going back to school can be fun, exciting—and stressful. Teachers have to deal with organizing lesson plans, getting to know new students and staff, budgeting for new expenses, and juggling/organizing their time differently once the kids are back in the classroom.

Students can be stressed too. Pressures of peer groups, sibling rivalry, highly demanding schedules, social media, problems with boyfriends/girlfriends, too much screen time, and family expectations are all sources of kids stress. And for some children, school can be a source of excessive stress. Children may feel overwhelmed when they don’t understand or can’t deal with their workloads. They can also be stressed by feeling socially or academically inadequate, like they don’t fit in, or are not accepted for their strengths and weaknesses. Being bullied or shunned is extremely stressful. Tension and anxiety can often arise from within their own minds too. As children grow, they frequently feel pressure from their own thoughts as they attempt to understand who they are, how the world works, and how they fit into it.

Research done by Stress in America on behalf of the American Psychological Association (APA) showed that teens, ages 13 to 17, tend to feel levels of stress similar to that of adults. On a scale of 1 to 10, teens reported, on average, a stress level of 5.8 during the school year (healthy is considered 3.9), and even in the summertime, a level of 4.6! Teens who face poverty, community violence, a challenging home life, and social deprivation (lacking close, in-person, one-on-one friendships) are at a higher risk for stress. Research also reveals that childhood stress correlates with a greater risk for adult illness due to chronically high cortisol levels. Chronic and/or intense stress in the developing brain can create negative long-term brain function issues that turn into anxiety, depression, difficulty processing, poor memory and a host of other problems.

So overall, it’s best to address and support stress in students (and ourselves)! Here are a few suggestions for teachers to support stressed kids:

  • Decrease extra noise and visual stimulation, keeping the room as quiet and uncluttered as possible.
  • When possible, use daylight or full-spectrum lighting, rather than convention lighting. Harvest natural light by keeping windows free of obstruction.
  • Give an adequate amount of time for transitions, as hurrying students can be stressful for them.
  • Play soft music in the classroom.
  • Use a chime or a soothing bell sound to get their attention or when they are moving to new stations.
  • Take laughter breaks, such as sharing jokes,watching funny videos, or reading a funny story.
  • Take movement breaks, such as dancing, yoga, stretching, or jumping jacks.
  • Teach appreciation through talking about daily gratitude in a morning meeting and/or a wrap-up gratitude circle at the end of the day.
  • Use mindfulness techniques such as taking 2 minutes in the morning and have them close their eyes and follow their breathing. Or they can lie on their backs with a jewel on their forehead, eyes closed focusing only on the jewel and relaxing. Play a relaxing song while they close their eyes and sitting in their chair or on the floor.
  • Find ways to calm yourself before and during school (a calm teacher means a calm classroom). Play inspiring, uplifting songs on the way to work to help you set your energy for the day, journal, take a movement break for yourself!

And of course, giving students the opportunity to write about their stress using The Imagine Project Journaling process can help immensely. The Imagine Project journaling is a simple 7-step expressive writing activity that helps a student talk about what’s stressful in their lives, think through it and improve the way they see the stress, and ultimately, clear the stress and Imagine a new story in it’s place. The Imagine Journaling process is unique because it uses the word Imagine…to begin each sentence. Kids love it (they really do) and it gets them to write more!

After a teacher uses The Imagine Project with their kids and the child understands the process, the teacher can suggest to a student who is stressed to write an Imagine story about what’s bothering them. The student might want to show their teacher their story, or not. You can also ask the student to write an Imagine story to a sibling, parent, or friend they might be struggling with—it works!! They feel better and everyone understands the issue better so they can move forward.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called tapping can really help a stressed student (or teacher). Look for videos on www.theimagineproject.org about tapping or find one that helps you on Youtube. It’s a great tool too!

Stress is a fact of life in our society. Kids need resources to build resilence and understand they have the grit to overcome most anything! Helping your stressed student is key to supporting their ability to learn and grow positively in life. I hope these simple tips will support you and your classrooms. Download the journals (for free) here!

Thank you,

Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

 

 

 

 

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An Imagine Challenge for Teachers

By Dianne Maroney
Tuesday, July 31st, 2018

Tis that time of year again; teachers are trying not to think about going back to school—but, unfortunately, it’s creeping up on your horizon. There are mixed feelings about the up and coming new school year; excitement, dread, curiosity, doubt, hope, and worry are just a few. Where does a teacher begin when he or she is planning for their future 8-10 months with students? How about writing your Imagine Intentions for the school year?

The Imagine Project is about expressing emotion and processing difficult life circumstances through expressive writing—ultimately it’s about imagining the possibilities in your life. What if you set your goals/intentions in the Imagineformat for the next school year?

There’s tons of research about the power of goal setting. Jeff Bossfrom Forbesmagazine writes that setting goals:

1) drives your focus toward actionable behavior,

2) guides your focus in a certain direction,

3) helps sustain momentum,

4) aligns your focus,

5) and promotes self-mastery.

Intentions are clear and positive goals regarding what you want to have and experience in life. If you have a distinct end in mind, your thoughts, actions, attitude, and choices will move in that direction. If you don’t have a distinct end in mind, you will stumble and wander without direction. Research has proven that defined intentions and goals reap greater success in many areas of life, including education.

So why not write your Imagine goals/intentions for the coming year? What a powerful way to positively influence the coming school year. It’s easy. Here are a few simple examples from teachers:

Imagine…students coming to school resting, fed, and ready to learn.

Imagine…seeing my students faces as they become excited about learning a new lesson.

Imagine…finding the perfect lessons to keep kids engaged.

Imagine…all of my students understanding the lessons I teach with ease and effortlessness.

Imagine…kids being kind and compassionate to one another each and every day.

Imagine…feeling appreciated by parents and administration.

Imagine…taking care of myself, staying rested, eating right, and exercising.

Sylvia Yager, middle school science teacher

______________________________________________________________________

Imagine…a year of 25 students that are happy, kind and compassionate

Imagine…staff working together to ensure all students are safe, successful and love coming to school.

Imagine… a class of kindergarten students that have not experienced stress or trauma and have experienced nothing but genuine love and happiness.

Imagine…meeting the social/emotional needs of all students.

Imagine…giving all students the confidence that they can accomplish any dream they have.

Imagine…the next 9 months of less sleep, extra work hours and over spending, but knowing it is all worth it because all of your students are happy, loving school and learning more than you ever imagined.

Imagine…the smiles you will see when your students “get it!”

Imagine…starting everyday with hugs and smiles and ending everyday with hugs and smiles!

Amy Ford, Kindergarten teacher

___________________________________________________________________

 Imagine each child feeling safe and loved.

 Imagine every teacher feeling honored to do the daily work they do!

 Imagine public education offering such a wide variety of tools, resources, structures, strategies, help, support, programs and staff that each and every child learns and grows from right where they start!

Imagine…students being excited to write!!

Sam Alexander, 3-5thgrade teacher

Writing your Imagine stories about your coming year is simple (you can find the Adult Journal download here). You may find yourself becoming emotional at times, thinking about some negative past experiences, or even a few beautiful moments that showed you why you do the amazing work you do. Overall, it will be helpful to express yourself—your challenges, your hopes and dreams—and push this year to be the best year yet. Guiding your thoughts and energy on a positive path is always helpful.

Teaching is such an extremely important profession in our world. I hope you recognize the incredible impact you are making in the world—one child at a time. Each and every one of us is so very grateful. Imagine the impact you can make!!

Bring The Imagine Project to your classroom, school, and district! Find our more and download the journals for free at www.theimagineproject.org.

Thank you!

Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

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Trauma Informed Schools

By Dianne Maroney
Thursday, June 28th, 2018

I recently attended the Trauma Informed Schools Conference in St. Charles, MO, hosted by the Beyond Consequences Institute (a great trauma focused organization founded by Heather Forbes, MSW). My overall impression was WOW! There were 1500 teachers, counselors, administrators, etc. who attended this conference that was filled with endless information about how to support and educate a child who has experienced trauma. I wish every educator could have been there, but for those who couldn’t here are some highlights:

  1. Recognize regulation vs. dysregulation!

The incidence of previous or current trauma in students is high—anywhere from 50-100% of all kids have experienced at least 1 traumatic event before their 17th birthday. Having a Trauma Informed School means understanding and helping kids who suffer from emotional imbalances that stem from trauma. These emotional imbalances can cause many different symptoms/behaviors including ADHD, poor focusing, concentration and memory, anxiety, depression, and a host of other issues. Heather suggests that instead of labeling a student as having a behavioral or learning issue, see that the impact they’ve had from their trauma has caused their nervous system to become dysregluated (i.e. abnormal).

A student who is regulated is calm, focused, and open to learning. They have a nervous system (which includes their brain) that can function well and comprehend. On the other hand, if a child has experienced trauma, their nervous system is “lit up” which causes their brains to be somewhat jumbled and chaotic, they can’t focus or comprehend, and their behavior is probably not conducive to a calm, happy classroom—they are dysregulated. All children (and adults) will become dysregulated at times in life, stress can easily cause dysregulation in all of us. However, an emotionally healthy student who has not experienced trauma, can reregulate themselves easily and quickly after experiencing stress. A child who has experienced trauma often has difficulty reregulating themselves—calming down, sitting still, and focusing.

Teachers, counselors, and administrators have the difficult task of understanding how to deal with kids who are dysregulated. You will need many tools and tricks to help a traumatized child reregulate; here are a few options.

What helps to regulate a child/student:

  1. Exercise/movement,
  2. Mindfulness and meditation techniques,
  3. Singing Bowls,
  4. Fidget gadgets,
  5. EFT or tapping with a child,
  6. Yoga,
  7. Journaling with My Imagine Journal,
  8. Talking with a support person,
  9. Nature or being with animals.

When a teacher sees that a child is dysregulated, know that the child is experiencing something that has caused him/her to be triggered into dysregulation. Use your toolbox to help the child reregulate so he/she can settle down their nervous system, mentally come back into the classroom and learn with more ease.

  1. Building a Sense of Community is Key!

My favorite line of the entire conference was from Mr. James Moffett, a principal from a high-risk school in KS. Every morning at the end of his PA announcements he tells the kids, “Remember, we love you and there is nothing you can do about it!” Imagine the feeling this gives the students at his school. Almost every presenter talked about the importance of building a sense of community in your schools and classrooms to create a trauma informed classroom/school. When a child feels a sense of belonging, trust, love, and hope, they will feel empowered, capable, and regulated! Mr. Moffett believes this atmosphere begins with the teachers and administration. Let your kids know they are loved, that you believe in them, and have hope for tomorrow. See what’s possible instead of what they can’t do. Give them a warm place to land when they come to school from a not so safe home life. Show them compassion every chance you get. Easier said than done I realize, but starting with gratitude for them showing up, say words like, “I notice…”, “I saw you…”, and “With persistence you can…” Give them empowering encouragement such as, “I have faith…”, “I trust…”, and “I know…”. Pick a student and for 10 days use these statements on them over and over, and then move to the next student. You will see the difference!

The Imagine Project journaling program is perfect for creating a sense of community. Students write their stories using the word, “Imagine…” and then share them by reading them out loud to the other students. Everyone in the classrooms hears what’s in the hearts of others and the stories behind their behaviors. Kids become more accepting of one another, supporting each other, and creating a sense of trust and family—this has been reported by many teachers and students.

  1. Create an environment that feels safe.

A child who walks into a classroom that is organized, positive, calm, and happy tells the student that the person in charge is ready and capable of taking care of them (they may not feel this at home). Here are some tips speakers gave for helping to create a trauma sensitive classroom:

  1. Keep your room organized (this may be hard for some, recruit teachers or friends to help you). Organization is calming to the nervous system, helping with regulation,
  2. Greet each student as the come into the classroom using their first names,
  3. Seat students in groups of 2-4,
  4. Use all the senses to calm the space in the room such as a diffuser for calming oils (Lavender is a good one), plants, soft music/sounds (singing bowls are a great tool), and keep the air fresh when you can by opening a window when possible.
  5. Using a mindfulness technique and/or breathing technique at the beginning of each class—this will help the kids and you. It literally only takes a minute or two. Have the kids close their eyes and follow their breath as you guide them for 3 or 4 breaths.

Because trauma is so prevalent in our children today, it’s critical that teachers, counselors, and administrators educate themselves and bring as many tools as possible to help their school as they become trauma informed. A child needs social emotional support to learn and grow, without it they are more likely to fail. Look for regulation and dysregulation—have options that will help reregulate a student. You may have to try more than one trick to support students—something that helps one student may not help another. If you would like more information about stress and trauma in kids, read The Imagine Project: Empowering Kids to Rise Above, Drama, Trauma, and Stress (Yampa Valley Publishing). Download The Imagine Project Journals to begin helping your students regulate and create a sense of community in your classrooms.

Thank you!

Dianne Maroney, RN, MSN

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

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Supporting the Mental Health of our Children

By Dianne Maroney
Tuesday, February 20th, 2018

Yet another school shooting—ugh—the pain, the anger, the despair, and the confusion. I/we hope this one is different. Could it be the tipping point for students, parents, teachers, and possibly even lawmakers to realize we have some serious issues in our country; issues with the mental health of our children—and gun control? I won’t address the gun control issue here; instead I’d like to focus on supporting the mental health of our children.

I’ve been working with children with mental health issues for over 15 years. The past 3 years have been spent working in classrooms with children of all ages and from all walks of life. It doesn’t matter what socio-economic class a child is in, they are still stressed—more stressed than you think. The stress grows and compounds in more at-risk communities—those where poverty, crime, and high levels of trauma are more prevalent, but there are difficult life challenges everywhere. Every child—no matter who there parents are, where they live, or what their life style is—needs tools to cope with stress and trauma. If they don’t have the tools and resources to cope with life, they find other ways to express pain and sadly, one of those is with violence.

I’d like to suggest a wonderful resource for all parents, teachers, counselors, students, youth leaders, etc. The Imagine Project is a tool that helps children deal with stress and difficult life circumstances. A tool that is simple, powerful, and effective in supporting the mental health of kids (and adults). It’s a 7-step expressive writing process that uses the word Imagine… to begin every sentence. Expressive writing research shows that writing about our feelings helps us release bottled up emotions, understand our circumstances better, and shift our perspective to a positive viewpoint. Using the word Imagine… amplifies this process because it allows the writer to be creative and detach slightly from their story as they write, which expedites the healing process.

As I’ve traveled across the country working with all types of children ages K-12. I’ve heard stories about bullying, kids feeling like they aren’t good enough, moving, loss, illness (themselves or loved ones), suicide ideation, parents who have left them or are in prison, witnessing murder, and/or being molested. It’s mind-blowing to hear what children can tolerate and bounce back from. These stories come from every classroom! The stress and trauma of our kids is real—in every walk of life.

An Imagine story from a local, middle class school comes to mind. As I stood in the library listening to 5th graders read their story, one boy, who was typically very quiet bravely stood up and read his story to the entire 5th grade.

Imagine…your dad leaving when you were little.

Imagine…not having a place to live.

Imagine…going to 6 different schools in 3 years.

Imagine…not having any friends.

Imagine…being made fun of.

Imagine…wanting a best friend.

Imagine…always hoping you will fit in.

Now you may worry that this child would be made fun of after reading his story out loud—the opposite happened. It was remarkable how much compassion the other students felt for this little boy after listening to his story. Their teacher told me that after the other 5th graders heard his story they played with him and made sure he was included. This didn’t just last for a couple of days, it lasted the entire school year—and hopefully a lifetime. I see this compassion in every classroom, kids care about other kids, and they feel better about themselves when they know that they aren’t the only one feeling sad, angry, worried, overwhelmed, etc.

We know that the shooter at Stoneman Douglas High School in the Parkland, FL was troubled. He’s had a very difficult life filled with turmoil and loss. What if someone had listened, included him, and helped him express his feelings? Did someone try—I don’t know, if they did, it wasn’t enough.

I do wonder about the 5th grader above—what if he wasn’t able to write about, express his feelings, and then feel included? What would his life have become? Would he have wanted to express his anger through addiction, self-harm, or violence? Thankfully, we will never know the answer to that question. I do know The Imagine Project helped him, along with thousands of other students who have experienced it.

Every child has a story—a story that is aching to be told. Given the chance to tell it, a child feels better, and then they are given the opportunity to Imagine new possibilities in it’s place. When we speak our truth—when a child speaks their truth—their hearts feel heard and healing happens.

Please consider using The Imagine Project with your child, in your school or group. It’s simple and can be part of your writing curriculum or a fun home project—and it’s FREE! Go to the www.theimagineproject.org to find out more.

Thank you!
Dianne

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

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5 Tips on How-to Help Kids Set Intentions

By Dianne Maroney
Thursday, January 25th, 2018

 

January is a month for new beginnings. We often dream about what’s possible for the upcoming year creating hopes for new life experiences. Research has proven that defined intentions and goals reap greater success in many areas of life. Yet many don’t think about setting intentions and may not understand how to teach kids to set intentions. An intention is a clear and positive goal regarding what you want to have and experience in life. If you have a distinct end in mind, your thoughts, actions, attitude, and choices will move in that direction. If you don’t have a distinct end in mind, you will stumble and wander without direction.

Intention setting is a life skill we can teach our children that will benefit them now and in the future. Here are some tips to help you and your child learn how to set their intentions:

  1. Play a game imagining new possibilities:

Imagining new possibilities in life is a great conversation starter with kids. It can be fun, interesting, and exciting. As you are beginning your school day, coming back from recess, eating dinner, having a snack, driving in the car, or at bedtime; ask your student/child if they could do anything in the world, what would it be? You can use the word Imagine if you’d like.

Imagine…being a doctor, teacher, musician, etc.

Imagine…swimming with dolphins.

Imagine…going to college.

Don’t worry if their ideas are farfetched; let them dream, at least they are thinking about something positive—positive thinking improves brain function!

  1. Set daily intentions:

Make a fun event out of setting your intentions daily. In the morning when you/they wake up or as the students are sitting down to begin their day, ask them, “What kind of day are we going to have today?” See how they answer and point out the positive. Help them remember that setting your intentions daily does set the foundation for the mood/dynamics of the day.

  1. Help them clarify what they want:

Whether your setting intentions for the day, month, year, or lifetime, it’s important to clarify what you want. Saying, “I just want to be happy” isn’t enough. Help them be more specific about what they want in all areas of their life including home, family, work, school, friendships, relationships, finances, etc. Encourage your kids to write down or draw their Imagines on a piece of paper and put it somewhere they can see it. Visibility will spur them to think about it often, envision it, and feel good about the new possibility. Even scenarios that seem impossible can be helpful, feeling hopeful can give them energy to muscle through difficult times.

  1. Embellish what it will feel like when their dreams happen:

Ask what it will look, feel, smell, even taste like if that fits. Embellishing an idea makes it even more real and they will work harder to achieve it. It would be fun to act it out if possible. The more they feel the idea of it, the harder they will work to make it happen!

     5. What will they need to do to make their intentions/dreams happen?

Don’t push too hard on this, but it’s important to talk to them about what they can do to make their dreams happen? Many kids (and some adults) would really like for others to do the work and then present them with their dreams; we all know that doesn’t happen. It’s important for all of us to think about how we can make our dreams happen, and then implement those important steps. Let children experience what works and what doesn’t, there are important learning opportunities in failures, and then in successes; muscling through both will build resilience.

Setting intentions is imperative in life—it helps us define what we want and work towards our dreams. Teaching kids to plan and Imagine is a critical life lesson. Give them small and big examples, helping them understand the process and learn how good it feels when you are successful!

 

The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

 

 

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5 Tips to Help Kids with Holiday Stress

By Dianne Maroney
Tuesday, December 12th, 2017

Tis the season to be jolly, overwhelmed, and/or stressed. The holiday season can bring out the best, and sometimes the worst in us. Many people love the holidays: spending time with family and friends, recreating traditions, and feeling a sense of giving are all positive aspects of the holidays. But there are a significant percentage of people who feel more stress around the holiday season. In our already fast paced world, the holidays add more to our list of things to do, which may create unwanted pressure, even overwhelm for some. Then there’s our holiday history from our own childhood. You may be lucky enough to have beautiful memories from your holidays as a child, but many are left with the memories of increased alcoholism, domestic abuse, or the lack of having gifts to open.

Parents, teachers, and others who are navigating the holiday season are not alone in feeling the stress of the holidays. Our kids are feeling it too. They sense, know, feel, see, and experience the stress around them. They might be feeling the pressures of the end of the school semester, or wondering if life is going to get more challenging throughout the holiday season as history has shown them, or wondering if there will be money enough for gifts for all. If you are seeing any signs of stress in your children: anxiety, sadness, turning inward, aggressiveness, anger, odd behaviors and/or illness here are 5 simple tips you can try to lesson their stress:

  1. Lighten the mood with laughter: Nothing relieves stress better more than a good laugh. Laughter is powerful medicine! It’s been found to relax the body, open our heart, improve our immune system, and decrease our stress hormones. Do whatever makes you and your child/student laugh. Watch funny videos or movies, play games, listen to a funny podcast in the car, whatever works for all of you. It only takes a few minutes, but it’s well worth the time and effort!
  2. Go for walk outdoors: Science has shown us that being outdoors lifts the spirit. If you are lucky enough to life in a warm state, be sure to take your shoes off and feel nature under your feet. If it’s chilly outside, put on the layers and experience it anyway. Make it an adventure to find or see new things. Play a game or walk to visit a friend. Nature is good medicine!
  3. Create a new tradition: Structure and knowing what to expect helps lesson stress. Giving kids the awareness of their background or family traditions help them understand who they are and where they come from. Do something that is easy and won’t stress you out trying to make it happen. Bake cookies, decorate the house, cook a dish from your heritage. It doesn’t have to be complicated, just something that feels like tradition.
  4. Talk to your kids: When we are busy, we often become short with our answers and forget to listen. Be sure to take time to ask your kids/students how they are doing. Use open ended questions using “How, what, why…”, asking them about their day. See what excites them the most about the holidays, and what is the hardest part. Be sure to take the time to listen. The car, mealtime, and before bed are good times for conversations.
  5. Write your Imagine stories: Most of us have holidays that are both good and bad. The positive experiences make us smile and love the holidays. The negative experiences can negatively influence for a lifetime if we don’t do the work to process and let go of negative experiences. The Imagine Project Journaling process can help children and adults express any negative experiences about the holidays (or otherwise), let them go, and create a new experience in its place. Doing this process around the holidays at school will help kids who are feeling stressed to express themselves. Doing the process as a family will help everyone involved understand how others are feeling, and bring you closer as a family. To learn more about the journals (and download them for free) go to theimagineproject.org.

May this holiday season bless you will the gifts of peace, love, and hope.

Love,
Dianne

Dianne Maroney is a Clinical Nurse Specialist in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing. She is the founder of The Imagine Project, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps kids, teens, and adults overcome challenging life circumstances through expressive writing. Dianne is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. Her simple, yet profound 7-step writing tool, now used by schools across the US, gives kids and teens the opportunity to rewrite a challenging personal story and Imagine new possibilities in its place.

 

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Supporting Kids through the Stress and Trauma of Our Complicated World

By Dianne Maroney
Wednesday, October 4th, 2017

It feels like life is getting more and more stressful with each passing day. Watching and experiencing overwhelming situations such as hurricanes, floods, fires, shootings, and political strife is wearing on one’s body, mind, and soul. It seems we can’t escape it, and yet, we must prevail.

Our kids are feeling the stress too; many are even traumatized by these difficult life experiences and what’s going on around them. I recently spoke with someone from the Florida Keys who works mentoring high school students, he said life is very challenging for everyone, “Many have lost their homes, their jobs, and everywhere you look there is destruction”. And yet, at the end of every conversation, people stand up, feel their own resilience, and want to help others, particularly children.

Kids look to their parents, extended family, teachers, and friends for understanding and support. If you have children, are a teacher, or work with kids in any capacity, you may be unsure, even confused about how to help them manage the stress and trauma they are facing. Below are 7 tips on how you can help your child/student.

Understanding stress: When a child experiences frequent, chronic, or overwhelming stress, brain patterns can change and a child can think, feel, react, and respond differently. A child may become easily agitated, anxious, impulsive, hyperactive, unable to focus, lack empathy, have low emotional control, poor decision-making, and weak problem-solving abilities. Chronic stress can also cause a host of minor, and sometimes significant, physical health problems such as an impaired immune system, slowed growth, aches and pains, and poor digestion. Long-term stress can change the pathways of the brain and so it’s important to address, soften, and treat stress as soon as possible.

Understanding trauma: Experiencing “trauma” means a child has endured an event that has overwhelmed their ability to cope. Children can experience trauma even just witnessing a traumatic event—this is referred to as vicarious or secondary trauma. Having a significant emotional or physical traumatic incident can also change how the brain functions. The post-trauma symptoms are similar to those with significant stress, but more intense and chronic. Immediately after the experience a child/student might be on constant alert, worried, fearful, struggle with processing information, withdraw, become aggressive, have eating or sleeping problems, feel guilty, and/or have new or unusual physical problems. If a child isn’t given the proper support and opportunities to deal with their emotions, their behaviors and problems can become chronic, even last a life time.

  1. Establish a routine and safe surroundings: Kids need to feel safe. After extreme stress or trauma this need is accentuated. Feeling safe comes from having reliable adults around them, as well as having routines so they know what’s next in their lives. If you are surviving and managing the immediate aftermath of a traumatic event, it’s helpful to get back to a routine as quickly as possible. Establish a new routine if you have to, but try and incorporate some of your old routines if you can. In a classroom, set up your space so that a child feels organized, safe, but not trapped. In a home or classroom, you can have a safe area/room where there is comfortable seating, plants, flowers, relaxing scents like lavender, peppermint, or eucalyptus. Play calming music.
  2. Encourage them to express their feelings: Take time every day (more than once a day) to talk about how they are feeling. Listen to them with heart-felt energy and reflect back what you hear. Be honest about what’s happened and what they can expect, but try to be positive to help your child/student have hope for a better tomorrow. The Imagine Project is a wonderful tool for parents, teachers, counselors, etc. to give kids the opportunity to speak what’s in their hearts. Talking about their feelings will help them get their emotions out of their hearts and heads, as well as have a better understanding of what has happened to them.
  3. Minimize further stress and trauma: When you’ve survived natural disasters and you are living in the mist of destruction everywhere this can be hard to do. You may not be able to keep them from seeing what’s happened around them, but try and minimize further bombardment of negativity by watching positive shows on the TV or computer. You can decorate with positive images, even look at positive images on the computer. Watching inspiring movies and videos will help. Anything to offset the negativity they feel in their hearts and hear all around them. Remember they can hear, see, and feel what you feel and say, try your best to be positive.
  4. Use calming techniques for yourself and your child/student: When we experience intense stress or trauma, our nervous systems speed up and it can be very difficult to slow down. This can be exhausting, causing long term health problems. Using mindfulness techniques such as meditation, yoga, SuperBrain Yoga, will help a lot; even try a walk in nature for just 10 minutes a day. Use these techniques to help calm your child or student’s nervous system so they can think, process what’s happening, and move forward (these techniques will help you too). Calming down your nervous system is critical for all ages to heal and help others heal. Calming music in your home or classroom, essential oils diffused around you, even chimes in the distance can be helpful. Anything that sooths your/their body, mind, and soul.
  5. Play: Play can be very therapeutic for children struggling with stressful or traumatic life experiences. Doing something completely different and getting away from life gives a well-needed break. Play can also give kids the opportunity to process the scenario that’s been difficult by acting it out within the play. If you see kids doing this, don’t stop them (as long as they are being appropriate), they will work through it on their own, in their own time—play is a perfect avenue to process and move through stress and trauma. Give them opportunities to laugh. Laughter is great medicine for all ages, particularly kids. A good belly laugh helps us all—watch videos, tell jokes, whatever works!
  6. Human connection: A hug, holding hands, a gentle hand on another’s shoulder—human touch releases a neuro hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin offsets the negative effects of stress and trauma in the body. The more touch we have during difficult times—the more support we feel in our body, mind, and heart. Teachers know their boundaries with their students—do what you can. Parents—the more hugging and holding the better (for both of you). Encourage kids to do one act of kindness every day. Reaching out and giving to others in need also releases oxytocin. Teaching kids to help others, (even when the person who is helping is in need) builds character and resilience.
  7. Hope: We all need hope in our lives. Kids are naturally hopeful; they see possibility in anything if you let them. If your children/students are struggling to see hope, give them ideas by showing them what’s possible. Even a small deed done for another makes us feel good and brings us a sense of hope. Let them imagine what might be possible in the next days, weeks, months, and years. Dreaming is powerful and we need it to move forward. The Imagine Project journaling process encourages imagination and creates new possibilities in a child’s life. It’s fun to imagine—and it’s a light-hearted, a welcome break from the negativity of stress and trauma. Make a game out of imagining. One person takes a turn saying, “I imagine…” then the next, and the next. Take turns. Add in what each person is grateful for in the mix. Imagination, gratitude and giving to others gives kids hope at a time they are struggling to see it.

To learn more about helping kids/students with the stressful and sometimes traumatic events of life and the world, see The Imagine Project: Empowering Kids to Rise Above Drama, Trauma, and Stress (Yampa Valley Publishing, 2017)

 

Dianne Maroney, RN, MSN is a thought leader in the area of stress and trauma in children. She is nurse, speaker, and author of multiple award winning books including The Imagine Project: Empowering Kids to Rise Above Drama, Trauma, and Stress (Yampa Valley Publishing, 2017). For more information go to www.theimagineproject.org

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